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Pour your heart out Wednesday...My people problem

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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Pour your heart out Wednesday...My people problem

Thanks to Shell at thingsicantsay, we all have a reason to say it.

I have two people to please! Count 'em...two! God and my husband.

I struggle with people pleasing. Most pros call this co-dependency. It's probably my least favorite thing about myself. I care too much about what others think about me. I seek approval from people that I shouldn't even care if they approve of me or not, and I often have the wrong motives in my actions due to my people problem. Instead of doing something because I want to do it. I will do it because I don't want someone to be mad or disappointed in me, or I’m afraid of saying “no”, or worse, I seek the praise of others. Most of all, I am affected far more then I should be by the actions of others.

Living like this is exhausting, and I've finally come to a point in my life where I don't want to be that girl anymore. I've begun setting healthy boundaries in my friendships and relationships, and I'm trying to focus on pleasing the only two people I'm supposed to…God and my husband. I feel that if my focus is always on this goal, then all of the other relationships in my life will remain fruitful and healthy.

I think Godly friendships and relationships should build you up and encourage you. When we let our strongholds take control of our relationships, then things get out of wack real fast! We begin to view the opinion of others over the opinion of God, and we seek praise and approval from man(and woman-of course) instead of Him.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Colossians 4:23-“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord, and not for men.” Not only does this speak to work ethic and attitude, but I also think it points out that we shouldn’t seek approval from the wrong people.

Mainly because you’re not going to get it! We should do things in obedience to God’s instruction to us in His Word. We should act to honor Him, and whatever we do should be to his glory, not ours!

If there’s a theme for my thirties thus far-it’s cliché-but I going for it-You can’t please everyone!

I’m tired of being a people pleaser, and I’m determined to change this stronghold in my life with God’s help. I have found a new freedom in saying “no”. There’s a weight lifted off of my shoulders when I stop caring more about what people think and start focusing on what God thinks. I want to please Him and Him only. God also commands me to respect and care what my man thinks too, so I do (Ephesians 5:23-24)! Everyone else will have to deal with the new me!

It’s hard to break away from the old me. Even though I have set boundaries, I still struggle with the thought of letting someone down, or someone being unhappy with me. But the fact of the matter is, if I have done what God tells me to do in His word then I have nothing to worry about!

It’s going to take time for the new me to surface completely. My actions and words don’t always reflect the new me, and I constantly have to make an effort to fight the old me.

The most frustrating part of trying to change something about yourself you don’t like is that even though you know the result you want the “new you” doesn’t always win the battle.

I’m making an effort to get to a point where I can say that this is no longer a stronghold in my life.



At June 10, 2010 at 9:22 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally support the new you...until you say No to me, of course...JK

At June 10, 2010 at 10:15 PM , Blogger Adrienne said...

Anon, I think I can take one guess on who you are, and be right! :) Thanks for the support.

At August 23, 2010 at 8:38 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

Thanks for directing me here Adrienne.

Right now the people whom I have said "no" to have decided to slander me on FB because it hurts their feelings that I'm not going along with their program anymore.

Reminding myself that all I can do is be the person that Christ expects me to be and ignore the ugly people.


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