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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

10 Reasons why it stinks to be a woman!

The week is here. The one week a month where I turn into a mega momzilla, gain 5 lbs of water weight, cry for no reason, remain easily irritated, have a sensitivity to light and sound which make it impossible for my family members to move breathe without me getting aggravated with them. That week!

So in the spirit of all things..."Whatever, I'm on my period" here are the top 10 reason why it stinks to be a woman!

Disclaimer: I'm cheating.
This is officially my 31DBBB DAY 2 post, and I'm also going to link to Shell a day early(I don't think she'll mind-I see she does stuff on the wrong day all the time-I'm winking at you, Shell).

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10 REASONS  WHY IT STINKS TO BE A WOMAN!
(Well, really 11 reasons. Somehow I ended up with 2 #5s so there's 11 reasons, and I'm leaving it just like that in the celebration of not being perfect. Bonus!)


1. We only get one good week a month. Two weeks are spent recovering from the week I'm currently in, and the other week is spent preparing for it. That leaves one good week! Most of you (well, all of you!) are familiar with PMS. I have my own acronym for these 3 little letters. PMS (or pre mentral syndrome) is also known as Prepare for Mom to Snap! This is a week of mental preparation for the whole family. During this week you begin to make excuses for irrational behavior. It's a free ticket to be smack crazy! Even though your right mind may still be in there, we just assume it's all about to turn into mush, so why put in the effort. So you start talking about how you have PMS, and begin with the routine somewhat early just because you know it's coming.

The two weeks following the period are known as the recovery weeks. The first week after is the good week. Enjoy it while it lasts. You can think again. Just like the Claritin commercials. Everything is clear. There might be some clean up to do. Maybe a straggling blemish (but nothing a bit of cover up can't handle). Overall you feel good. You can wear your jeans again. You begin to examine your life and make the list. The I-need-to-change-these-things-about-myself-because-I-can-think-clearly-now list. But, then...

Things start to get hazy. Wait-my good week went to fast! You're not quite sure what it is. You can't put your finger on it. It can't be PMS. You just got off your period. Hmmm...weird. You begin to have thoughts of pursuing counseling because it can't be PMS that's causing this mood you're in. Maybe you're really crazy?

Then you sucumb to the prepartion. It must be PMS. At least you know PMS is coming, so you might as well get ready.

Then before you know it...you're there. THE worst week has come, and all your hard work is thrown out the window-AGAIN!
And so the cycle starts again...recovery, preparation, the crap week, and the one good week...

WHATEVER!

2. Our list means nothing. Ya know that list I mentioned above. The one where you make a metal note of all the things you want to do to make yourself a better person, wife, and mom? Well, you make some headway throughout the month. Things are looking up, and then WAM! The bad week comes, and all the effort you put in is scrapped! Back to the drawing board. You worked so hard to control emotions, be patient, loving, kind, blah, blah, blah. Then you have one bad week where you cannot control yourself, and it's like the nice mom and wife was never home. Nobody remembers her. Sigh...

How can I say this next one with class? Maybe I can't...

3. Men think we should dish out favors during our worst week. What is up with this? The one week I want to be as far away from my husband as humanly possible is the week he thinks he should get something for nothing (I'm trying to be tasteful. Can't we all talk about this stuff? I totally would if you were my IRL close friend, so whatever! I'm talking about it.) I'm not going to go into detail, but I think you can follow along. This is annoying! If we had the flu or a fever they would not do this. Husbands, please leave us alone. We don't feel good.

4. Men get hotter, we got older! Why, God? Why? My husband is looking hotter than ever. He's pushing 40. I'm only 32, and I swear I need a face lift. My metabolism has decided to take a dive into senior citizen mode, and I am having to learn new eating habits, work out, and actually make an effort to be healthy. All of this just to feel good, not actually look any better.

5. Cooking! I can cook. I actually like doing it for other people that do not live in my home. I just would rather do something else M-F. It's exhausting. My kids are too picky have always had too many choices and therefore don't like anything that's good for them, and my husband can't eat anything that has cholesterol(which is EVERYTHING), and I would just rather starve then make 4 meals. Take out, anyone?

5. Cleaning! Just know this: I usually hate to say "sucks". My kids are not allowed to say it, and I don't like to use the word either. I'm kind of a prude when it comes to bad words, and so forth. But sometimes there just isn't a better descriptive word. Some things just suck. Like cleaning! No one will ever pick up after themselves. Everything I clean will be dirty tomorrow, and I will wake up and do it all over again. Why?

6. The pressure to be a perfect wife, mom, cook, and housekeeper sucks. During my mentally healthy weeks week I take great pride in my homemaking skills, and consider it a job I love and enjoy. Today, not so much. I try to honor God in making my home a happy place to be. I am kind of a perfectionist and this can be my worst enemy here at home. Things just never seem clean enough, organized enough, calm enough, structured enough, and it's all my job to change it. The pressure can be too much sometimes!

7. There are no jeans for us! The days of being a zero are gone for me. I'm OK with my body(most days). I would love to wear my old jeans for the sole purpose that they cost me hundreds of dollars, and I don't have time or effort OR money to find new ones, but that's not going to work b/c they no longer fit me. However, jean shopping is down right depressing! I don't want mom jeans, and I would also like to keep my butt crack to myself. Impossible! Why has our society grown to accept butt crack everywhere. Seriously. I can be leaning down to tie a sweet little shoe lace, pull down on my overly lengthy top, which doesn't help, and unbeknownst to me-bam! Butt crack. No one seems to care though?? It's totally acceptable. Why???? Please someone design a jean for us.

8. Our bras are a hoax! At least mine is. Instead of a boob job I wear a Victoria's Secret Bra that holds form, and just looks like I actually have breasts. Anybody?

9. We have to be the link between our family and our husband's family. Why don't men talk to their own parents and siblings? If it wasn't for me we would never see or talk to my husband's family. I'm the communicator, the link. It can be a big job. I have my own extended family to deal with. A little help, please?

10. We are our own worst enemy. Sometimes it seems like noone dislikes us more than ourselves. Annoying! Come on, ladies. We have got to love ourselves. Love our hips, love our hair, love our boobs, love every flaw, love our whole selves. When does that start happening?


When I come back, I'll be in a better mood.


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25 Comments:

At July 20, 2010 at 8:23 AM , Blogger Casey said...

Oh my goodness, this made me laugh. Its so true, so true

 
At July 20, 2010 at 9:21 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

::Deep breath:: Ahhhhh! Fresh air! You and me babe! If we're the only crazy moms in the world we'll still have fun and be able to laugh about it at least one week a month. But the more (honest) blogs I read the more I think we're not alone.

Thanks for PYHO with us today! That was well put!

 
At July 20, 2010 at 9:50 AM , Blogger Shell said...

It is all true- I can relate!

Yup, only one good week- and NO FAVORS for dh. LOL

And of course I don't mind you doing this a day early. You know I do that all the time. ;)

 
At July 20, 2010 at 11:31 AM , Blogger blueviolet said...

What is up with the jeans? You are so right. I'd like to know who they are designing them for!

Favors on that week? I'd sooner have two of those weeks.

 
At July 20, 2010 at 11:44 AM , Anonymous Amy said...

cooking and cleaning definitely deserve their own number, even if it is #5 :)

Oh so many challenges of being a woman (and a mom) :)

 
At July 20, 2010 at 11:51 AM , Blogger C.McKane said...

Ha ha your list really killed me. Especially #8! They don't always seem to put them where they belong ;)
Have a good week... err or soon.

 
At July 20, 2010 at 1:32 PM , Blogger Jen said...

8 is hilarious.

10 is sadly so true.

Have you ever talked to your doc about your PMS? You sound a lot like my friend who has PMDD. There are things they can do so you can have more than one good week a month. :)

 
At July 20, 2010 at 1:49 PM , Anonymous Maureen said...

What a true true list! Amen! ;) No.4 really crack me up btw.

 
At July 20, 2010 at 3:11 PM , Anonymous Leslie @ crunchybetty.com said...

Aw, (wo)man. SO true! I especially connected with the bra part.

Stinks getting older and not having a choice (ah, remember fondly the days of no sag/no bra?) to wear a bra ... and the only "good" bras that don't either give your shoulders an ache or squish you in the wrong places cost a million jillion dollars?

 
At July 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM , Blogger Ruby@Ruby'sMusings said...

LOVED this! Especially since it is that week for me, and well hate to say this , it gets worse...I am in my mid 40's and I used to complain in my 30's now I wish I was in my 60's and it was all over with! Mine now lasts two weeks...YES! So I do not even get a good week! The first week is a build up and just enough to be annoying...then BAM! I am out for two days, and then well back to what I had before till it is over. A week to try to "clear things up" and then all over again! Thanks peri meno!

I just wrote a blog about my weight/ body issues, this really ties in ! Great read!Yours that is...never sure about mine LOL

 
At July 20, 2010 at 6:23 PM , Blogger Maranda said...

hear, hear!!! I don't know what to say except everything on this list is so true!! I hate the jeans today! OH man...this list just blew my mind. Great job!!

 
At July 21, 2010 at 11:23 AM , Blogger jenn@peacelovemommy said...

how freaking true is all of that?
omg! Dying about #8. I'm currently sporting the bra that comes with 7 inches deep of padding =)

i gotcha back!

stopping by and im a new follower from PYHO!

www.peacelovemommy.com

 
At July 21, 2010 at 12:02 PM , Blogger Diane said...

Amen, sister! To all of it, but especially about the one good week a month thing and the "no jeans for us"! Oh, and the "cleaning sucks" and "our list means nothing". Oh..just ALL of it!

 
At July 21, 2010 at 12:04 PM , Blogger Erin said...

I totally agree with needing a face lift. Seriously I'm 32 and since I hit the 30's I've aged 10 years. Not cool.

http://www.amundsenhouseofchaos.com/31-days-to-build-a-better-blog/

 
At July 21, 2010 at 1:01 PM , Blogger Draea Lael (Rose) said...

Followed you from over at PYHO with Shell!
I <3 this list...more so because I was actually just thinking about each one of these things! Well, except for the bra thing. I have bunches extra and can't find good bras that cost less than $30!

I think you and I would make great bloggy friends! Could you just imagine if all the honest, crazy, mom bloggers got together? YIKES!
<3
laelrose.bogspot.com

 
At July 22, 2010 at 3:39 AM , Blogger Sarah said...

Ah yes...the week. I sat wondering today if I was getting ready for that...and realized it's next week...UGH!!! Hang in there, it will all be better next week!!! ;)

 
At July 22, 2010 at 8:50 PM , Blogger FrugalLittleThing said...

My favorite joke from my late great grandfather (a veterinarian for cattle in Mexico):

You know why they call it PMS, don't you?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

:P

 
At July 23, 2010 at 2:04 AM , Blogger Holly said...

This i s great - it is not easy to be a woman!

#2 - story of my life.
#10 - I completley agree we all need to love ourselves more!

 
At July 24, 2010 at 11:23 AM , Anonymous Ofthesea said...

Hear hear! #8 had me in stitches! :D

 
At July 26, 2010 at 12:07 AM , Anonymous Sofia said...

Awesome post! And so true...! I have to deal with number 3 every single day when I'm on that week...! Argh...boys. As to number 8...well, the only thing I have against my girls is that they are different size...like a full cup difference. Hate it! And they are out there...

Following you. Found you over at LBC Tea Party

Sofia
http://frompdxwithlove.com

 
At July 26, 2010 at 5:06 PM , Blogger Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) said...

I can't believe I'm just getting to read this now, what a great list! I'm with you on all of them and they are spot on! Oh yeah, wearing a level 4 push up from VS to make it look like I've got something there...yeah that's me. Being the link to our husband's family...yup. Great job! I'm laughing and crying:)

 
At July 27, 2010 at 2:22 PM , Blogger Kimmywizzie said...

I found you on SITSgirls. The is a hilarious list post! One of the best I've read. It made me ROFL. #4 & #5 I could definitely relate to.

 
At July 31, 2010 at 11:51 PM , Anonymous vahnee said...

Hilarious! And so true! I had to read the whole thing out loud to my mother & we were both laughing out loud. Awesome.

 
At October 11, 2010 at 10:21 AM , Blogger Charlotte (Life's a Charm!) said...

great list! too funny...
i have to say #9 speaks out so loud in here too! hubby don't like talking to his family most of the time, but to think they're great!

 
At December 19, 2010 at 4:47 PM , Blogger Boobies said...

LOL! This is so true...love how candid you are!

 

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