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Friday, July 23, 2010

My boys-my plan

My boys are amazing! They are happy and content wherever we are, and no matter what we're doing.
You see, I'm learning from them.

This week has been challenging. We had a flood at our house on Tuesday night, and we've been at a hotel since then. For me the last few days have been exhausting and stressful. When we found the flood I immediately tried to stay positive, and proclaimed that this must be a blessing in disguise. Well, three days later...I'm sorry, but this is just one GIANT PAIN in the you know what! It has been a nightmare!

Dealing with my insurance company, mortgage company, flood recovery people, 10 industrial fans, 3 giant dehumidifiers, phone calls, faxes, emails(all from a dinosaur laptop that I'm am posting from right now), and no parties involved have been that great to deal with. Ugh! Sigh...

This is the thing. I was sort of already at the end of my rope due to a million other things hubs and I have going on. Things I'm just not quite ready to blog about yet, but believe me, our plate was more than full pre-flood!

I'm trying to keep my eyes on God, and remember his plans for me are good (Jeremiah 29:11), but I won't pretend that I'm not discouraged. I'm confused and frustrated with God, and I'm unclear what his plans are for us. It's a time of our lives where things are a little crazy and uncertain. Nothing is set in stone, and plans and decisions change on a daily basis. It's a pretty frustrating time.

Please know this: I'm fully aware of the blessings in my life, and remain faithful that God has a plan. I just have NO IDEA WHAT IT IS!

But, last night I was down at the pool with my youngest at 9PM. He was having a blast! I decided it was our last night in the hotel before we go home to our concrete floors and wait for construction to start(which will take forever due to the ridiculous process my mortgage company has!), so I figured to just have fun while we were here.

He was jumping in the deep end. He just learned how to do this last week, so when he jumps in he goes under, and then his sweet little head pops up out of the water with this enormous look of satisfaction and accomplishment. His smile was bigger than I can describe, and he just kept doing this over and over. I couldn't help but smile.

My boys have been so wonderful through this whole thing. They really don't even care about the flood. They are happy and content as long as we're together. The night of the flood they went to stay with my in laws. It was a spur of the moment decision, and I had a little anxiety when they left. I always get a little separation anxiety when we part, but this was different. With everything that was going on I just wanted my babies with me. They were gone for most of the following day at the beach. I had checked into the hotel, and found myself waiting. Waiting for them to come home back to the hotel.

They finally got back around 6pm, and then...I could breathe. Maybe this is unhealthy. I don't care. My point is that my boys are my constant. They are my smile, my breathe, my joy, my heart. They are my whole life, and my purpose on this earth right now is being their mom. Without them, I'm lost.

I wish I could take their picture right now to show what I'm talking about, but my camera is at home with the concrete floors. You'd see that they are sitting together side by side in their undies playing games, and watching funniest home videos.

They've asked when we're going to walk down and see what's for breakfast. They want to jump in the pool, and they could care less that our house is in shambles, and they know nothing about any of the other stresses in our lives right now. They are perfectly content.

Paul says in Philippians 4:12 that he has learned to be content in every circumstance. My boys helped me remember this today.

Although, I may not know what God's good plan is right now, I do know that my job is to be my kids' mom. Not a mom that is distracted by life, or overwhelmed by things that I cannot control. I want to focus on my boys, and make this time in their life wonderful. How awesome will it be when my boys look back at this time of their lives and remember it being the best years ever? You see, hubs and I will look back at this time period, and probably remember it as hard times, stressful, and uncertain. I am determined to make sure my boys look back at it, and remember it being the best years of their lives. A time filled with memories, laughter, and good times. Years from now they will look back at this week and say, "Remember when we had that flood? That was so fun!" That is my goal in this life. Not just this week, but always.

I can only do this with God! So even though I'm frustrated. I will remain faithful, and focused on Him! I may not know what the future brings. Only God does. But I know he's already blessed me with one plan that remains constant. Motherhood. Today he's telling me to focus on my boys.

He's saying, "That's your job. Now let me do mine."


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7 Comments:

At July 23, 2010 at 9:37 AM , Blogger Di said...

Beautifully put - sometimes its so hard to trust in God when everything seems to be going wrong - huh?

 
At July 23, 2010 at 9:45 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

I have the same separation anxiety. Even when I get a chance to go shopping alone I feel strange the entire time without my little people... like who am I when I'm not being a mom??

About trials and hard times... I know personally it's hard to take the knowledge from your head to your heart when you're in the thick of things, but remember God doesn't let anything fall at your doorstep that He hasn't already weighed in the balances and decided that you are capable of handling/going through (with Him by your side).

Cling to His promises even when it doesn't feel real or true. We can't trust our emotions or feelings. We can only trust a sure "Thus saith the Lord".

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." 1 Corin. 10:13

Or maybe this one will comfort you more depending on your situation.

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." James 1:3

I'll keep you in special prayer this weekend while you're recovering your home.

 
At July 24, 2010 at 9:43 AM , Blogger Keri said...

Hi Adrienne! Stopping by from the lady blogger tea party. Your blog is adorable! I also sometimes struggle with why somethings happen but it sounds like you have a really positive attitude about the whole situation :) Good luck and have a great weekend!!

 
At July 25, 2010 at 3:25 PM , Blogger cornflakegirl74 said...

I like your positive outlook. And you're right. There are just some things that are beyond our control. I think it's great you're learning such valuable lessons from your boys when you could be wallowing in the negative.

I wish you the best of luck though and hope you can return home soon :)

 
At July 25, 2010 at 6:10 PM , Blogger Natalie said...

I am from the blogger tea party. I am in love with your blog!! :) I love that put things into perspective. I stress a lot and I am constantly having to remind myself that I am NOT in control. God is. Who better to take care of us?? Thank you for this post!

 
At July 26, 2010 at 12:35 AM , Blogger More Milestones said...

Oh my gosh, I could have written this post. I'm married with 2 boys. As trouble hits us, I try so hard to stay positive and know God is here for me.
I have an award for you. Stop by and check it out: http://moremilestones.blogspot.com/2010/07/can-i-get-woot-woot.html

Chin up. Things could always be worse... That's what I always tell myself.
Mona : )

 
At July 26, 2010 at 10:16 PM , Blogger Shell said...

How I needed to read this. Oh, how I needed to. Thank you.

 

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