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Saturday, September 18, 2010

That's My Best Friend


When I saw this contest I wanted to immediately begin typing the praises of my bestie! Then, I hit a writing could I possibly stuff 20 years of  history, memories, friendship, laughter, and tears into one readable post??

I still do not have the answer to this question. So, I've decided to just start typing and see what happens. Maybe I'll come out with a wining post-maybe not. But, I'm just gonna tell you about my sweet friend from the heart, and see how it goes. I know you'll love her!

We met in 6th grade. More than 20 years ago! We've been best friends all these years. In the beginning we had little in common. It was sort of an opposites attract type thing. When I walked into Mrs. F's English class on day 1 of 6th grade, I saw this sweet little thing with stoned washed pegged jeans, and a mess of red hair. She invited me over with a shy wave and a smile showing no teeth, and I sat down in the empty desk next to her. The rest, as they say, is history!

Today we're 32 years old. We live about 5 miles away from each other. As much as we would love to see each other every day. That.never.happens. We have to make a deliberate effort to plan things, or we would never see each other. All of a sudden I woke up, and we were woman. Grown woman with grown up lives and grown up problems. We have grown up butts and boobs. Post childbearing bodies, and we're married with husbands and children, and our lives are no longer sound tracked by one hit wonders and mixed tapes. Sixth grade was a.long.time.ago.

When I really start thinking about the history and memories we have I feel a rush of every emotion. Sadness, happiness, pure joy, fear, laughter, laughter so hard you wet your pants and your abs hurt the next morning, anxiety, heartbreak, and love, unconditional love. This is my best friend.

Two decades have passed since that first day we met. We've shared so much of our lives together that the friendship we have is so raw. honest. We can pick up after years of being apart, and it feels like we were together the weekend before. This is my best friend.

At this stage in our lives we have a lot in common. We're both mothers, wives, daughters, daughter-in-laws, sisters, and friends to other friends. Although we have some of life in common, we have plenty of circumstances that could have separated us time and time again. We've had all of the usual people-grow-apart type stuff, and then there's the unique stuff that many friends might not have to go through. We've had times of struggles when disagreements rear their ugly head, insecurities play evil games, jealousy has even come around, and just plain grown up life gets in the way too. We've both agreed we parent differently. Our home lives and daily routines are like black and white! Opposites attract-that's my best friend.

The most recent hurdle we've had to get through was one of spirituality. I don't know if this batter was hers as much as it was mine. So I'm gonna own it. I love Jesus. I believe wholeheartedly in the truth of scripture in the Bible. She's a converted Muslim and studies the Quran. This was a tough one for me. I spent the limited amount of time I had with her by quoting scripture and trying to get her to see things my way. Wait! My way? No, no, sister! You've got it all wrong. It's not my way-it's His way. It took me a while to realize that I had a pride problem. Her heart is for God to work on. That's not my job. I'm called to be a light in her life through Christ Jesus living within me, and how could I be that by making her feel condemned? It was a battle for me. I kept waiting for God to reveal to me what I should do about our friendship. I kept expecting him to lead me on another path. I became sad thinking this was going to be it. This was going to be the thing to break us. But that's not what happened.

Over and over God just kept telling me to "be her friend", "just be her friend"!
She's always my friend-that's my best friend.

We've experience it all. Hey, We're talking two decades. It hasn't always been roses and butterflies. But that's real friendship. Always real-that's my best friend.

It's easy to have a friendship with someone you have everything in common with through every season of life, but it takes work to love unconditionally through the storms. That's the kind of friendship we have. Unconditional. That's my best friend.

The storms are the times in our friendship that make me the most proud. At times we've fought to keep this special friendship, and that means so much to me.

Then last week, I got an emergency call. My best friend had been rushed to the hospital and was being admitted for emergency back surgery as we spoke. Her herniated disc had caused so much nerve damage she was suffering from paralysis in her lower body. She was unable to walk. Her sister also told me that the nerve damage had affected her bladder. The doctors were not sure if the damage could be reversed. What!?

I left the boys with my husband. The kids were sick. It was hard to go, but I also didn't care. I had to get up there and hold her hand. Or see her, or anything. I just needed to get there. I rushed to the hospital. I sadly cannot even really remember driving there. I was pretty worked up with idea of her not being able to walk and use the ladies room like a dignified adult! She's 32! I just kept thinking that she is the glue that holds her family together, her husband couldn't make it without her. Her whole family would be lost! I just prayed, called for more prayer, and then called more people to pray.

When I got there, she was already in surgery. Things were more relaxed than I had been on the way there. Thank God! I still had all the same questions, that no one was able to give me answers for, but just being with her family made me feel better. All we could do was wait and see how she recovered.

Then, her doctor came out. We could see her.

I had to wait with her sister because only three people could go back at a time. The first three to go in were her mother, father, and husband. Her sister and I graciously waited behind for our turn. When her dad went in she was awake. She smiled. Of course. He said, "Your sisters are in the waiting room". She said excited and giddy, "Adrienne's here too?" She didn't miss a beat...after all these years, she's not just my best friend, she's my sister. A sister-that's my best friend.

Once I got to see her I thought it best for me to get going. I didn't want to take away from the rest of the family there. I leaned in to give her a kiss and she grabbed my arm and said, "please don't go, stay". So I did. The nurse brought in some sprite and cranberry juice, and I mixed it into the perfect treat for her dry mouth. I held the cup and fed her with the straw. She just smiled. It was at that moment that I realized I could not make it without her. She's my heart-that's my best friend.

I will tell that God has answered our prayers and she is doing well. She's recovering slowly but surely. She's been walking and I'm happy to report using all of her parts with no problem! PRAISE GOD!!

We have a date next week. I'm gonna climb up in bed with her and watch  recite every.single.word. of Pretty Woman.

That's my best friend-a Pretty Woman word reciting fool!



At September 18, 2010 at 9:25 PM , Blogger Marissa said...

that is SUCH a beautiful post. It had me totally focused and engaged...glad she is recovering well and glad you two have had a friendship that's lasted SO many years. That's a special bond. I have a few like that too. I thought in high school and college, I'd stay friends with EVERYONE I talked to back then...WRONG, I have three, super strong best friends, including my husband and that's IT. Powerful post...have a good weekend@

At September 18, 2010 at 10:02 PM , Blogger Ruth said...

Adrienne, what a beautiful post! Every friendship is a gift from God and it certainly is our duty to be His light and love them he way God would want us to love... this inspires me. Thank you!!

She'll be in my thoughts and prayer!! Praise God she recovering!!


At September 18, 2010 at 11:18 PM , Blogger adrienzgirl said...

This was a beautiful BFF post! I enjoyed reading every word of it!

At September 18, 2010 at 11:37 PM , Blogger Dawn said...

beautiful tribute!

At September 19, 2010 at 10:30 AM , Blogger Shell said...

So glad that you wrote this in time! Opposites definitely attract- and help balance each other.

At September 19, 2010 at 2:05 PM , Blogger Mama Hen said...

Adrienne, I really hope your friend recovers quickly and without too much pain. This was an excellent post. I come from a multicultural family and was raised in a house that gave thanks to God every day. What I have learned is that there are many beliefs out there. My friends are the ones who live kind, loving, giving and honest lives. It is so special that you and your friend have shared twenty years together. The good times are always easy to get along. It is when there are difficulties our friendships and love for one another are put to the test. I learned this when my Dad passed away and the friends I thoughyt were my really good friends ended up not being there for me in the most devestating point in my life. I figured out quickly that they were good time pals. But at the same time, freinds I had just gotten to know had been the strength I needed at that moment. They are my true friends today. You are blessed to have your best friend. I hope she is well soon. Have a great day!

Mama Hen

At September 19, 2010 at 7:37 PM , Blogger cooperl788 said...

I have to say that I was totally in tears reading your post tonight! It was so heartfelt and sweet and made me think of my own BFF and our long friendship. I think it's a wonderful tribute to your long-standing friendship/sisterhood.
My BFF is the same way - I was the 4th person (after Mom, Dad, and Hubby) to see her after her emergency c-section with her firstborn. I remember being so worried about her, but at the same time relieved that I could see her and she looked okay. Hope your BFF gets well soon, and without too much pain. I'm following you back, and I can't wait to read more!

At September 19, 2010 at 8:26 PM , Blogger TV's Take said...

What a heartfelt post! So glad religion did not get in your way of being there for a dear friend. There are many beliefs out there and in general I respect them all. Thanks for stopping by.

At September 19, 2010 at 10:11 PM , Blogger An Imperfect Momma said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that. Praise the Lord she is recovering!

At September 20, 2010 at 6:13 PM , Blogger Andrea (ace1028) said...

What a beautiful post about a wonderful friend. The two of you are lucky to have one another. And yes, it doesn't matter what we believe in, as long as we can still believe in one another! :)

At September 20, 2010 at 9:26 PM , Blogger MommaKiss said...

i'm all choked up over here. At the thought of your best best friend being sick. at the knowledge that you love each other no matter what. great post, great friendship.

At September 20, 2010 at 10:36 PM , Blogger SurferWife said...

Beautiful!! Love this post. Thanks for participating.

At September 21, 2010 at 12:40 AM , Blogger Alicia said...

oh man!! i'm glad she's scary! but what a sweet post...thats so awesome that after so many years you still have such a strong bond!!

At September 21, 2010 at 1:25 AM , Blogger Tammy said...

I am so glad that things turned out okay. I bet the two of you enjoy your special date...with Pretty Woman!

Great post and now a new follower from the FYL Blog.


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