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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A season has passed

It's been over three years since I lost my job. Before I lived this life of a SAHM and home schooling, I worked as a Title agent in a demanding office with dear friends. Everyday I wished I was home with my boys, and longed for God to get me here. In my heart I was never a working mom, but it's what worked for us at the time and I did what I needed to do. I worked with this Title agency for 5 years. In addition to these years being some of the most hated memories of a working mom, it was also the sweetest memories with special friends. I wouldn't trade the blessing of being home for anything, but I do miss the conveniences of seeing my sweet sistas everyday. The job itself-you can have it! My heart has always been at home. But...

I had the blessing of working daily with some of my dearest friends. One of which, I grew up with. My BFF, my sista! Over the years we have shared almost every job together. I'm talking EVERY JOB! From the good old days of irresponsibility and cluelessness as bartenders and waitresses to the real world of career moms and Real Estate closings.

Everyday I went to the office I could count on seeing her smile, hear her laugh, shop during lunch, and just get the play-by-play of her daily life and family news. I never missed a beat of anything. As happy as I am to be finally home, and living a life I used to cry over not having. I miss my sweet friend.

This is nothing new-it's been over 3 years. But every now and then, I have a tender spot in my heart. I guess today is one of those days. Our lives are so different now. For the first time since I was 18 our lives are just different. We are in different seasons. She has a brand new baby boy (who is precious, by the way) that I should get to see every day. But, then I remember we don't live near each other, and the conveniences of years passed are just not there. Our lives have priorities to our husbands and our children, and right now, friendship sort of takes the back seat.

I'm experiencing awkward phone calls, because as much as we want to chat and catch up-it's bittersweet. A phone call is nothing compared to the days of endless conversation. The phone calls are almost a reminder of what we don't have anymore-time.

Sometimes I'm so used to having so much in common with her and our lives matching up perfectly, I don't really know how to be at different stages in life than her. Sometimes I don't think she knows how to either. It's just a funky kind of thirty-something-moment for me.

I love my sweet friend, and I know that when our kids are grown we'll be sipping hot coffee with good creamer somewhere on a porch cracking up about so many good stories. I could get together with her today, and it would be as if no time had passed. She is my sista. But until then, I just plain miss her in the day-to-day! That's her place in my heart.








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10 Comments:

At October 13, 2010 at 7:11 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

Sometimes "be content with such things as ye have" is hard to do. And it seems that when we get semi-used to how things are they start to change again.

I totally know the feeling of missing/losing connections with friends. Store up the memories that bring you joy!

 
At October 13, 2010 at 7:14 AM , Blogger Katina said...

Awwwwh! I have a girlfriend that our relationship has gone like you described. I had children first and that didn't really change anything but when she had her daughter everything changed (as it should have). She no longer had time for our long talks and getaways. We both have family responsibilites and we live about an hour apart. That being said, I love her with all my heart and I know that in a crisis we would be there for each other!

 
At October 13, 2010 at 11:29 AM , Blogger cornflakegirl74 said...

Awwww, I get this. It's as they always say: the grass is always greener, right? There was a point when you longed to be where you are today, but now that you're here, you miss the quality time you used to have with your sister. But chances are: she feels all the feelings you express so eloquently here. It becomes so much harder as we age to schedule the things we used to have all the time in the world for: a phone conversation, a trip to the mall to grab a pair of boots, a movie with a girlfriend... but we make the effort because these friendships are so lasting and important to our well-being. Even if distance is a factor, see if you can perhaps set up a 20-30 minute Skype or phone conversation once a week (or every other week, if it's easier).

This was a beautiful post and I hope you have the chance to share it with her. I imagine that she would be very touched by your words :)

 
At October 13, 2010 at 12:36 PM , Blogger Shell said...

It's so hard to go from having the day-to-day with someone to only being able to be together every once in a while. But, it sounds like you have an amazing friendship that will last.

 
At October 13, 2010 at 9:47 PM , Blogger purseblogger said...

I can relate. It's hard when things change but the friendship will always be there. xoxo

 
At October 15, 2010 at 1:54 PM , Blogger Misty said...

tears, tears and more tears...I am honored to be commented as the "sista" mentioned. I miss you and those times more than words could EVER describe. we are so fortunate to have had them. can't wait to be sipping coffee with you...at this rate it will be before we know it. We must enjoy and praise Him in every season in this life. Love you sweet girl...

 
At October 16, 2010 at 9:15 AM , Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Good, long-lasting friendships are cyclical.. and while you know you will cycle back to each other, it's still hard when you are on a down turn.

 
At October 16, 2010 at 2:32 PM , Blogger Crafty Craftee Craft:>D WAHM said...

What a beautiful friendship you both have!

 
At October 17, 2010 at 3:39 PM , Blogger Hi my name is Nicole and I said...

That's really awesome that you get to homeschool though. It is such a sacrifice. I know for our family we live without some things and sometimes our sanity lol. How old are your kids?

 
At October 18, 2010 at 3:18 PM , Blogger MommaKiss said...

tugging a my heartstrings with this one. the day-to-day, it's HUGE. big fat hugger here, and i'm sending one your way.

 

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