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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Bloggy Conflict

I'm totally conflicted.

Bear with me on this one...lately I'm all over the place. Literally!

I had this bright idea to create a home away from home in the blog world for myself. I prayed about it, and spent a little time decorating the new place. I was excited to see where it went. Until today.

I wanted to share a big piece of me with all of you, and at the time, I felt like this topic needed it's own home. I think I was wrong. I think I should have not been afraid to put it out there. Here.

There's just one thing missing at this new space. All of you.

To some degree, I wanted to shoot for some anonymity, but the truth is, not many people I know IRL read my blog, so what's the big deal?

If I was to grow or change as a blogger, but lost all of the wonderful connections I've made that have made this journey so special that would stink.

Have you ever wanted to move, change, or do something in this crazy thing we call blogging, but didn't quite know how?

I still want to share this tender topic, but I'm just not sure how.

Sometimes I feel smothered by the Shoebox. I want a place where I don't talk about homeschool, motherhood, or crafts. A place where no one really knows who I am. Sometimes I don't have the courage to write about everything I want to say. There's more to me. How do you fit it all in one tagline?

Can you picture a woman with a counter top covered from corner to corner with clutter? Picture me just taking one giant swoop across the whole thing and dumping it all in the trash and starting over. Dramatic?

That's how I feel.

That's pretty much how I feel about life in general right now.

Man, am I in a mood...


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10 Comments:

At December 15, 2010 at 3:22 PM , Blogger adrienzgirl said...

I say it's your space, write what you want, when you want, about whichever topic strikes you that moment. You might lose some followers, you may gain others. However, if you lose people who didn't want to share the things you want to share? They really aren't "connections" you want anyway right?

It's like what I tell my children, if you have to pretend to be something you aren't in order for others to like you, they don't really LIKE YOU right?

Do what feels right for you in YOUR space!

And...everything else will work itself out.

 
At December 15, 2010 at 3:35 PM , Blogger Reagan said...

I definitely struggled with this. I had someone "stalking" my blog and I felt so censored. I started blogging for the "free therapy" and in hopes of finding people with the same struggles/inspirations as I have. Somehow I started writing things to make sure the stalker wasn't upset, the stalker wasn't offended, the stalker was encouraged ... and that wasn't me.

What I decided is that I don't have a niche blog that will get thousands of readers. I don't have the sort of blog that will make millions from advertising. But I do have a blog that is mine--my thoughts, my feelings, my space--and I refuse to be caged in by the thoughts of others.

So I--anonymously or not--took my blog back. Because when it comes down to it, the mission of my blog is to help ME find balance in my roles of wife, woman, and mom. If I meet with others along the way--great. If I don't, great.

This is a toughy! Good luck!

 
At December 15, 2010 at 3:42 PM , Blogger Shell said...

Oh, that was you! I read and felt like I knew who was writing, but not sure who it was.

I think you can take your blog in any direction you want. And if you need to talk about this,you can do it on your blog. It's okay to talk about different topics.

 
At December 15, 2010 at 4:06 PM , Blogger Our Homeschool Fun said...

OH, I know exactly how you feel. I struggled with this for almost a year! I went through blogging to gain readers, blogging to get comments, even trying to do stuff just for a blog post--ridiculous and embarrassed to admit that! I finally about six months ago got over my "blogger addiction" and have gotten back to only blogging for me and for documentation/family records. I have my blogs turned into books each year.

Unfortunately I do have too many people I know in real life that read my blog and were reading it way too often. So many problems came from this and it got to be where I didn't even want to blog about our family life and felt I had to censor and sugar coat everything as to not offend anyone I knew.

I have two blogs--family and another for homeschool. I took my family blog private and am at peace with it. If you'd ever like a peek into our family life, feel free to ask for an invite.

I hope you find the peace you need in this very crazy blogosphere! But, no matter what blog for you and you only. Loyal readers and real friends will read no matter what, that I have learned!

 
At December 15, 2010 at 4:39 PM , Blogger Liz said...

you do what you want and write what you want! don't feel so limited.

go for it, adrienne!!

 
At December 15, 2010 at 4:53 PM , Blogger Dee said...

I loved the fact that I was somewhat anonymous when I first started blogging. Then people IRL found my blog. I ended up having to delete over half of a year of blog entries just to "keep the peace."

If you don't feel comfortable writing about certain topics here you could always create a separate blog for more personal stuff!

 
At December 15, 2010 at 8:06 PM , Blogger Jessica said...

Me too, Me too! Let's start an anon blog together! I'm just holding my breathe a waiting to see if my need to secretly blog goes away.

 
At December 16, 2010 at 4:25 PM , Blogger Faith Imagined said...

This is such a great and honest post! Sounds like you are ready for a change!

 
At December 16, 2010 at 8:23 PM , Blogger Hen Jen said...

I totally relate, I even started an anon blog where I could be free...but the reality is that I am soo busy, I never write on it. I don't know what to do now, I love the name I came up with for my blog...

you are not alone :)

 
At December 30, 2010 at 11:35 AM , Blogger Heidi said...

I feel ya, girl - email me anytime you want to chat about bloggy identity crisis! :)

1wonderwomanwannabe @ gmail.com

When I really want to vent and don't want to be concerned about who sees it - i let it out in my hand written journal and when the dust has settled a bit i can share in on my blog without feeling like I've completely spilled my guts and might regret it later. Also, by that point I've worked through it and can share about the journey...etc.

here's one of my favorite blogging links that I refer back to when I'm wavering about what I want to write about/share on my blog:

http://www.chattingatthesky.com/2009/08/06/define-your-bloggy-purpose-take-two/

 

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