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I'd do it all again! Part 2

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Friday, December 10, 2010

I'd do it all again! Part 2

Part 1

After a while, I began to check back in. Sort of.

I finally got to hold my sweet angel. He was precious and tiny and beat up. He looked just about as bad as I felt, only cuter. His poor little face was black and blue, and he had these two little cuts on his head. Nothing huge or serious, but the last thing you want to see is a cut on your newborn's tiny head. He was ok, though. Healthy. Ten fingers, ten toes, one tally wacker! He was perfect!

I was constantly torn between pure joy of being in awe of him, and the realization that I was in the worst pain I had ever been in. I had the worst of both worlds. The pain was EVERYWHERE. I had pushed for so long before the C-section, that it felt like I had actually delivered the baby and had a C-section a la carte!

I could not walk, move, sit up, cough, breathe, laugh. I swear it hurt to smile. It hurt to think about smiling!

The hospital stay was probably typical to any recovering mommy's stay. One that had an emergency C, like I had, anyway. I began to learn the details of the delivery and put the pieces together after talking with nurses, doctors, and my husband. My head fog was starting to pass, but the level pain I was in was crazy! I thought for sure there had to be something wrong, but everyone just kept assuring me it was because of the trauma of my delivery.

I was so swollen that you could press any part of my leg and leave a deep imprint that would stay for what seemed like forever! It was by far the weirdest thing I had ever seen.

It was so nice to be home. Finally. I had my oldest back form my mom's house, the baby where he belongs, and at least I could be in the comfort of my own home while in this pain. Breastfeeding was going well. The only draw back was that I had to lay on the couch, and hubs had to lift the baby out of his bassinet and hand him to me for feeding.

I layed on the couch, and the bassinet sat right next to me. I remeber that set up like it was yesterday.

I soon resorted to never puting back in the bassinet. I wanted to bond with him, and lying on the couch and just holding him was the easiest wat to do it. Breastfeeding saved my bond with him for sure! If he didn't need me, I probably would have just been absent. I was in pretty bad shape. I was still unable to get up, sit, walk without help. It just seemed so messed up. I knew that some recovery was normal, but this seemed crazy. It had been almost a week, and I still felt completely handicapped.

 I don't know if I should kill hubs or thank him for these photos?

At the time I wanted to kill him,
but today they mean so much more to me than a terrible picture.

So I layed there, and waited for time to pass.

A few nights later, my recovery took a turn for the worst.



At December 10, 2010 at 2:53 PM , Blogger Craig said...

I think men don’t really get this childbirth thing. Unless they are as fortunate as I have been to be allowed to read something like this and the other birth stories I’ve read. Men can’t really ever get this. Not even when we see it first hand. Because when men hear pain they stop listening and either tune out – or switch into “fix-it” mode. Either way we don’t really listen enough. I didn’t. But I’m listening now.

I’ve always had respect for moms who try hard. But it’s only when I began reading the blogs of moms that I truly started to appreciate motherhood. What you women do amazes me. But more men need to hear and understand the unbelievable mix of pain, joy, awe, sadness, and guilt that bringing a child into this world involves. And that it doesn’t stop there.

When you wrote of bonding with your child through the breastfeeding, and the picture of both of your babies on the couch with you – it hit in a new way that the bonding between a mother and child is unique. We men bond with our kids, but think about it, fathers give you away at a wedding, but mothers will always cup the cheeks of their kids and call them babies. Men don’t really refer to growing up or grown up children as “my babies”. Language reveals stuff.

And at the end I could only think – there’s MORE??????!!!!!!

God Bless you Adrienne – and all 3 of your boys (big one included)

At December 10, 2010 at 3:14 PM , Blogger Go Mommy said...

I love the pictures that I HATED when my husband took them. I think they are all part of our story, good, bad, and ugly. And your pictures are BEAUTIFUL!

At December 10, 2010 at 3:47 PM , Blogger Jessica said...

How scary that must have been. Did you have good helpers from husband and son? There are many pictures that I have tossed because I thought they were "bad" at the time. Wish I hadn't now.

At December 11, 2010 at 9:10 AM , Blogger ღღღ-Mumsy said...

Will come back for the next installment.

The pictures are priceless if you ask me! Real life, no Hollywood style!!!

At December 11, 2010 at 9:55 AM , Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Wow! Just WOW! How scary for you all!

At December 12, 2010 at 2:36 AM , Blogger Amanda said...

Oh, Adrienne! What an ordeal :( I'm anxiously awaiting Part 3 to see how this all unfolds!

At December 12, 2010 at 4:11 PM , Blogger cornflakegirl74 said...

These pictures truly are beautiful, but I'm so sorry for what sounds like a very scary delivery :(


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