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Day 1-Love is patient

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 1-Love is patient

You can read why I'm taking THE LOVE DARE HERE.

"The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."

How did I do? On a traditional grading scale of "A" being the best and "F" being the worst. I'd say I got a C. Really.

It just happened to be a day that we had a behavior issue with my oldest. Although we didn't necessarily disagree on the issue, we still had some heated discussion. It was a negative topic, and one I find myself easily frustrated over. I wasn't complaining or nagging, but expressing my deep frustration with my son's behavior. We've been struggling with this lately, and yesterday I found myself saying things like, "I can't do this"! I didn't wait until I was calm to speak, and it escalated the situation.

I did have the ability to step outside of the discussion to see my actions weren't exactly God honoring. I then tried to calm down, and turn the discussion around or at least put it on hold until I wasn't upset. I was able to do at least that. It made what could have been a blow out, just a short heated discussion.

Throughout the rest of the day I tried to simply be aware of my words and my tone.

This was hard for me, because I talk too much!

I found I caught myself thinking about how my words will effect my spouse. Should I say that? and Oops, I shouldn't have said that! It wasn't walking on egg shells or anything, but just a healthy awareness of my own actions and words. You know the concept. Think before you speak...ahem...a concept I'm not so good at.

I tried to respect his time while he was studying by keeping the kids at bay, and thanked him for something kind he'd done for me. A simple "thank you" goes a long way! Here I am the one who is supposed to be experimenting on him, and he's cleaning out my youngest son's closet! All I could say was, "Thank you." I kissed him, and hugged him, and he held me. I love this guy! Thank God he makes it easy to love him.

If anything, I realized how much work it is to truly show patience.

So, even though I don't think I mastered being 100% positive on a day with a rocky start, I did make a conscious effort to try. Because of this effort, things probably turned out better. We were still able to have a pleasant day in spite of the rough start.

I'll take it. And in fact, after writing this, I wonder if I didn't deserve a "B"?

The day's assignment was wrapped up with a verse that's close to my heart, and one the God has been trying to teach me.

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." ~James 1:19

***Some of you have expressed an interest in getting this book, and joining the LOVE DARE. Should I put up a linky for us to share our journey and stories with one another? I think I would definitely find encouragement in seeing how you all are doing, and I would love to see how this project blesses your families!




At January 18, 2011 at 9:40 AM , Blogger Braley Mama said...

I am with you on this one. Patience is always what the Lord is working on in me :O)

At January 18, 2011 at 11:21 AM , Blogger Sara said...

Girl, a "C" is passing. Go with it. That verse from James is ALWAYS a wake up call for me. getting my book today; not sure about linking up, because my husband reads my blog, but I will think about it!!!

At January 18, 2011 at 2:00 PM , Blogger Shell said...

I like Sara's comment. A C is passing!

At January 18, 2011 at 2:54 PM , Blogger Epiphany said...

This is such a great challenge and one we should all implement in our lives. Thanks for sharing your experience!

At January 18, 2011 at 4:39 PM , Blogger Di said...

I will so do this once we have settled into a routine with Jellybean. I also constantly work on my patience. I chewed the hubby out last night for eating all the ice cream and the chocolate frosting. Why? Because I was tired and needed someone to pick on. Oops!

At January 18, 2011 at 5:36 PM , Blogger proudmamato2 said...

Sorry to hear that your son's behavior has you frustrated (I've been there myself). I just wanted to throw out a suggestion to you (and all the other moms)...there is a great new e-book out about how to change bad behavior. It's called Too Much Love, Too Much Discipline. It's the best that I've ever read on the subject & it actually works.

Here's a link for it:

P.S Love your blog!

At January 18, 2011 at 8:54 PM , Blogger Mama Hen said...

This is a great exersice and something we should all do each day. I think we all need to remind ourselves constantly that "empathy" and what and how we say something can really effect how someone else feels. I commend you for taking the challenge and forgrading yourself honestly. By recognizing what we all need to work on within ourselves is the first step to making changes. We all need to work on things. My e-mail is, I would love to know more about your choice for homeschooling. Have a great night!

Mama Hen

At January 18, 2011 at 10:30 PM , Blogger Katina said...

Good stuff! Thanks for sharing. Love the verse--totally stealing it!


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