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do i really know how to love?

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Monday, January 17, 2011

do i really know how to love?

Last week at church the message was about love. I felt so convicted.

After the sermon, I wondered if I really know how to love?

I mean, I know I love my husband, my children, my family and friends. I'm not questioning if I love, but, how I love. Do I know how to love like God loves?

We read from 1 Corinthians 13. He took us line by line through these verses, and a familiar passage was made fresh for me. I realized I have a lot to learn about the kind of love God intended for us to share with others.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 tells us that Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I thought about the people I've struggled to forgive. I thought about all of my relationships, and questioned how others can see God's love through me.

And of course, I thought about my husband. I've been talking a lot about my marriage lately, and one thing I know God is teaching me through the Bible studying I've been doing, is that first and foremost, I need to focus on Him, and the work He's doing in me. Not my husband.

I need to learn how to love others like God loves me, and I want others to feel that love from me. I want others to see my life reflect God's love for them. I want to be a vessel God uses to show others they are loved.

My husband is the most important realtionship I have. I want to learn how to love him like God has planned.

As I read through each line of these verses above, I began to see how some of my actions reflect the exact opposite of what God calls me to be as a wife.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and it's the perfect time to work on this love thing. Most days I think I've got it all wrong.

I've downloaded a copy of The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick to my kindle, and plan to work through the 40-day journey. I decided to get this book for two reasons. 1. It begins by breaking down the scripture passages that spoke so strongly to my heart last week (1 Corinthians 13), and 2. It's short reading each day with a little "homework". The tasks are designed to put the day's reading into action. Men are physical. I know that it's going to bless my marriage to love on my husband with some direction from this book, and God's Word.

It's my own little secret Valentine's Day experiment. He won't know I'm reading it. I plan on blogging about the journey, and sharing how God uses it to bless my marriage.

I bought a copy of the book when it came out last year, and then put it to the side after the first couple of days. Hubs and I had just watched the movie and I felt cheesy doing the assignments. I felt like he would catch onto my tricks since he'd just seen the movie. I thought it wouldn't have the same effect. So I gave it away.

Now I would actually like to see what happens when I work through the tasks without him knowing what I'm up to.

I want God to help me learn to love like Jesus does, and I want my marriage to flourish because of it.

So, I'm taking THE LOVE DARE.

To read more about my journey as a devoted wife to an unbelieving husband click on the label "unequally yoked marriage" at the bottom of this post.

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At January 17, 2011 at 10:26 AM , Blogger Braley Mama said...

That sounds awesome! Only God can love like 1 Corinthians, it really shows us where we need to allow God to work in our lives. Way to go on doing the dare. I may check it out!

At January 17, 2011 at 10:57 AM , Blogger Sara said...

I HEART you!! You set such a positive example for me- in a completely non- creepy kind of way. I started the Love Dare last year, but then got mad at my husband and threw it across the room after three days. Why yes, I AM awesome, lol... Good Luck!!

At January 17, 2011 at 10:58 AM , Blogger Karen Mortensen said...

I really love this post. You made some wonderful points. Good luck in your journey.
I saw that movie. It was wonderful.

At January 17, 2011 at 11:38 AM , Blogger Shell said...

Let me know what you think of the book! I haven't read it yet.

Our pastor challenged us a few weeks ago to "love LOUD." I felt like that really spoke to me.

At January 17, 2011 at 2:10 PM , Blogger Diane said...

I haven't read it but have heard good things about it.

I'm sure your marriage will be blessed by it.

At January 17, 2011 at 2:26 PM , Blogger Craig said...

Oh, Love – one of my favorite topics (and blogs:)

Conviction is the stirring, but you only stir what’s already there – you do love – and the fact that you’ve been stirred is proof.

God Bless and Keep you and all of yours

At January 17, 2011 at 6:03 PM , Blogger Bella @ If This is Motherhood said...

I read the love dare. I didn't do it the way the book said because in truth I am not religious but I loved the principles of it. I love it's definition and description of love and I learned a lot from it. I was actually disappointed when I got to the end of the book and was basically told know what...I can't even say because you haven't done it yet. Anyway, as a non-religious person, it was disappointing but as a person looking to love those in my life better, it really worked! Let me know how it goes for you!

At January 17, 2011 at 10:03 PM , Blogger YayaOrchid said...

I just found your blog via your visit to mine. I'm so glad I found it, because you speak in a language I SOOO understand. Thank you for sharing what the Lord is speaking to your heart.

I'm following your blog now, and hope you can visit mine also. Thank you!

At January 17, 2011 at 10:04 PM , Blogger YayaOrchid said...

p.s. Now you've got me thinking I have got to read that Love Dare book. :)

At January 18, 2011 at 10:08 PM , Blogger Jess said...

I totally watched the movie Fireproof and because I'm seeing you do the Love Dare you've given me the motivation to finally whip out the book and do it myself. :)

At January 18, 2011 at 10:15 PM , Blogger Tiffany said...

What a great idea to blog about your journey through the LOVE DARE.I never saw the movie but I did buy two copies of this book for my husband and I.
It wasn't the easiest thing to do when we were both doing it. He pretty much knew why I was doing the things I was doing. I got about 14 days into it and stopped. It is a wonderful book though and I still have it. I love the references to Bible passages.
I am eager to read more of your love journey and how your husband responds.

At April 4, 2011 at 2:43 AM , Blogger Aspiring Millionaire said...

I'd never heard of the movie or the book, so thank you for sharing.

I think this is a great idea and I know I have read that scripture many times, but it is amazing how it can affect us differently at different times.

I know I don't love how I should.

Thanks for sharing.


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