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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Go away, Mom!

It was 7:06 am. Time to wake up. I went into his room, and pulled down his covers, and snuggled up next to him. It was freezing in the house, and I wasn't quite ready to wake up until the heat kicked in a little. I thought I'd lay there next to him for a minute and be lazy. Let him be lazy too. It would be a sweet, snuggly, way to start our day.

As soon as I squished in next to him he said, "Go away, Mom!". Not only does he tell me to go away, but he tells me with his new low voice which is almost unrecognizable. So what are you saying, kid? I can't snuggle up with you anymore?

Sigh...On to the next attempt to give my big man some attention.

It's so hard to connect with him at this age. It's all on his terms. He calls the shots, and I have to be ready to accept at any given moment because they are fleeting, and pass so quickly.

Last night we went to our first Student ministry worship service at our church. It was awesome. But, I still can't believe he's big enough to go! I have my reservations. The topics are pretty mature sometimes, and I'm nervous about that. But, I can't keep him in a bubble forever. I would rather he be exposed to the world while he still lives under my roof, than wait until he's on his own. Making his own choices, making his own life.

As a homeschooled child, he needs to be connected with other kids his age. There's a whole world out there. Even though there's so much to be worried about as a parent, there's a lot of blessings waiting for him too. I don't want my fears to hold him back.

He still  needs me though. He didn't want to go to worship alone last night. Not like I would have let him anyway! I need to scope things out first. See how things are run. See what types of kids are there. See what the leaders are like. Check out the other parents. Even though I don't want to hold him back from the world I want to be a wise parent. There's not gonna be any dropping off yet. That's okay. Parents are encouraged to come, and there were a TON of parents there last night. Which I love. It was a great message, and it was special to worship with my son. It was a good night.

He's nervous about getting involved. He doesn't know many of the kids. He's shy. It's an intimidating group. The music is pretty loud (awesome to me) and he's not used to the crowd. It's hard for him to meet new people.

But...he got something from the message last night. He was able to apply it to his life in his own words.

I got something from the message last night.

We talked about some of the events that are coming up, and possibly getting involved. I started to tell him all of the pros. A chance to build relationships. A chance to bond with some of the kids. A chance to serve Jesus. I started to hear my overbearing mom voice kick in, and I felt like it was annoying.

I realized something this morning. I need to pray for my son more, and talk less. God has a plan for him. He doesn't need my help in "talking him into anything". He can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. No amount of pep talk can do what God can do through prayer. He'll get invovlved when he's ready, and it will be God's perfect timing. Not mine.

Last night when we checked in we filled out the registartion cards. Each of us had our own. Mine was very parent-ish. Contact info and so forth. His asked some questions for him to mark as it applied to him.

I saw he checked "I want to get rooted in my faith."

Enough said.

I just need to let go.



At January 13, 2011 at 11:29 AM , Blogger Holly Diane said...

Sometimes it's the little things ya know...:) This post made me smile

At January 13, 2011 at 9:05 PM , Blogger Impulsive Addict said...

That's great! Boys will ALWAYS need their mommas. Just remember that.

At January 13, 2011 at 9:19 PM , Blogger Heidi said...

what a great experience to share together. your heart for mothering him is just beautiful - it is so evident that you're strength is in the Lord. press on, girl! :)

At January 14, 2011 at 6:10 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

No! I don't want to imagine those days yet! I still have a cuddle bug. What hard transition we have to go through as parents.

At January 14, 2011 at 7:07 PM , Blogger Mindy said...

Our 4 year-old is our alarm clock and we're always trying to convince her to snuggle, but, alas, she is all about breakfast ASAP! I also loved reading about some of the revelations you received at the meeting.

At January 15, 2011 at 10:54 AM , Blogger Mamarazzi said...

he is always gonna be your little boy. good idea to pray.

thanks for stopping by my blog. i always do my best to follow people who comment back to their blogs and leave a little love.

have a happy weekend!

At January 15, 2011 at 1:36 PM , Blogger Mama Hen said...

It is just a phase and then he will be reaching for his mama hugs again! There is so much to think about when raising our children in a world that is not always so kind. I agree with you that praying is very important. I feel that way too. I was wondering why you chose homeschooling for your children. I am sure it is not always so easy, but I commend you my friend. I have thought about it, because I am a teacher. But my daughter is an only child and I am not so sutre. I would love to know why you decided to go this route. Have a great day!

Mama Hen

At January 16, 2011 at 12:48 PM , Blogger Craig said...

The heart of a mom. I just continue to stand in awe. Really – in awe. To always be thinking about them, planning, hurting, loving, never stopping – ever. It’s amazing. And letting go – it has to chip off a piece of your heart. No?

Adrienne, you’re a good mom.

God Bless and Keep you and yours


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