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Monday, February 7, 2011

change is good

This church was different. There was something special about it. The evidence of God's hand in the lives of the people that were there was so clear. I began to really learn about God's word. Not just sit through a sermon, and go about life Monday through Saturday, but really learn. I began to have my eyes opened to what God wanted for my life, and the life of my family. I began to learn of about the unconditionally love he had for me.

I knew this was the perfect church home for us. The kids loved their classes. I loved the pastor and everything about what they were doing in the community, and I also felt like it was the perfect fit for my husband. I knew that he would have a hard time in a traditional stuffy setting (I would too!) and this was the total opposite! Even though my husband wasn't totally jumping on board with the whole Sunday morning thing, he was supportive in me finding a place that the kids and I could go to. Of course, I wanted to find a place where we could all go eventually, and I had.

It wasn't long before I got connected in a women's Bible study group and met some incredible ladies. Women that I believe were strategically placed in my life for a purpose. I learned very quickly that I was not alone on the quest of being the spiritual leader in the family. Many women I crossed paths with had different stories about their marriages, husbands, and awesome evidence of God's grace and power in their lives and in the lives of their children and spouses.

I started really building a relationship with the Lord through study, prayer, and life changes. It was like I had a new glasses. I saw things differently. I was excited to bring my children up in a home that served the Lord, and I was on fire for Him!

I rededicated my life to Christ in the summer of 2007, and made a commitment to walk with Him. No matter how hard it was going to be. I wanted to start fresh.

My husband has been right there along the journey with me. He just sort of observes from the sidelines. He is usually pretty supportive of my beliefs, and was right there with me on the day of my baptism. Even though he doesn't get it. He gets me. He doesn't understand this faith based realtionship and I can't always share my spirtual journey with him. But he's there. Watching.

There have been tough times. Times when we've argued because we just don't see eye to eye. Times when hurtful things are said out of anger. Times when my flesh gets the best of me and I fear my husband thinks I'm a total hypocrite, and times when I just plain screw up as a christian wife and mother.

Then there are times when I see God's hand in my marriage. Times I see he's working in me. Times I see my husband's heart is softened. There are times when I get it right. Times when I can praise God with my husband even if he thinks I'm a crazy Jesus freak.

I think he likes the changes in me. The changes in our home. He playfully picks on me and calls me "square" or "Bible banger". We can laugh together about our differences on good days, and I know that God is with me on bad days. 

The past few years have been hard at times. I made a commitment to live my life differently than I had in the past. To raise our children differently. To parent differently. But I also made a commitment to be a different wife than I was. To honor God by making my marriage work and loving my husband like Jesus does. No matter what. There are a lot of things that are different since I began to rebuild my relationship with Christ.
But...change is good.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come, the old has gone, the new is here! ~2 Corinthians 5:17

If you've missed any of the stories I'm sharing about my journey as a devoted wife to an unbelieving husband you can click on any of these links below:

A Spiritual Mismatch
Some Mismatched History
Church Shopping

For even more posts on this topic you can click on the label "unequally yoked marriage" at the bottom of this post.



At February 7, 2011 at 8:27 AM , Blogger kelly said...

Beautifully said.

At February 7, 2011 at 9:27 AM , Blogger Braley Mama said...

Awesome! Praying for your husband to know the Lord!!!! and for strength for you sweet sister!

At February 7, 2011 at 10:27 AM , Blogger Sara said...

My parents have these friends- Doug and Patty. For the first 22 YEARS of their marriage, Patty got up, every Sunday, and took all 4 of their kids with her to church. Alone. For 22 YEARS. She kept her mouth shut, except when speaking to God about it. In their 23rd year, Doug woke up one day and just started going. Now he plays in the band and runs not one, but two men's Bible study groups. Have you read The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace? it's like taking a kick to the teeth but if you can get through it, it helps. A LOT.

At February 7, 2011 at 11:05 AM , Blogger Shell said...

This kind of change is amazing.

At February 7, 2011 at 1:46 PM , Blogger Diane said...

I had not read your previous posts about this. You are a very impressive woman and Christian. I know God has to be very proud of you! And I believe your husband's heart will continue to soften...

At February 7, 2011 at 9:10 PM , Blogger Tiffany said...

I know how you feel and now I realize that I am not alone in being the spiritual leader in my home. My husband goes to church with me but he doesn't get it like I do.He supports me and the changes that have gone in our home, family and marriage as I follow my path with Christ. I hope that he will get there one day. I hope your husband gets to that point too.
Sisters in Christ. hugs.


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