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The Love Day-Day 11, Love Cherishes

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Love Day-Day 11, Love Cherishes

Okay, so this is the longest 40 days ever. I told you it was going to be hard for me to do this in 40 straight days, and I was right! It's been an interesting (to say the least) couple of weeks here at the shoebox. I was going to lump several days together in one post to try to catch up, but Day 11 was special to me, and I don't want to take away from what I learned, and where it lead my heart to go.
I'm picking up where I left off...

Day 11-Love cherishes

"What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile."

This day's reading focuses a on the fact the a husband and wife are one person. When we mistreat our spouse, we are mistreating ourselves. I often just treat my husband the way I treat him. Not that I treat him poorly, but I just don't think about it being "me" that receives the treatment. The truth is, we are one person. One unit. We have to parent together, make financial decisions together, get through this crazy thing called life together! I want to treat him better. I want to cherish him.

This really motivated me in my role around here. I took the time to sit down this past week and make some much needed changes in the way things run at the shoebox. I know a lot of the things I tackled are stress triggers for my husband. I figured by handling them on my own, without talking to him, would be an act of love sent his way. Things are chaotic right now. Such is life, but what could I do to make our home a refuge for my man?

So, in an attempt to gain some loving harmony around here, I have put a ton of planning into meals. It may seem simple, but a house that smells like dinner when my man gets home puts a smile on his face. I've cooked dinner every night this past week. That's a small miracle for me! My son actually inquired why I was making so many "gourmet meals" lately. Haha!

Just simply making the time to think about my man when I'm at the grocery store by really planning meals for him makes him so happy. He snuggles up to me when I'm cooking. Kisses me on the cheek and says things like, "It smells good in here, babe." It takes the stress off of the entire evening when dinner is well thought out. It gives both of us a sense of certainty in the midst chaos.

It gives him something to look forward to when he comes home to know that the kids are bathed, dinner is cooking, and the house is picked up. He can come home and just relax. It's like an invisible "Welcome Home Daddy" sign is hanging on the door. That's what I want for him. Because the truth is...I do cherish him, and he deserves to know it.

When I fist started staying home with the boys I embraced my new role as a SAHM with such joy. I was so happy to be here. After all, it's what I always wanted. I took my role as a homemaker much more seriously than I do now, three years later. I wanted to get back to the heart of my home.

It's been nice. I've always cooked, but not like this! I'm gonna keep it up! I know it's one way I can cherish my man. I also put a lot of time into making a schedule for the boys. My kids need a lot of structure. Especially my oldest. I put a lot of hours into mapping out or daily schedule and weekly activities. As a homeschooling family, we have a lot of freedom. Sometimes that's awesome! Other times, the kids need more structure than I give them. Then when hubs gets home there's a lot of "homework" going on, my oldest may be still working, and I'm puting an end to that!

Many hours of tedious work later, my oldest knows exactly what to do and when to do it. It's taken  stress off of me and hubs. Not to mention it REALLY helps my son. He has a schedule posted in two main areas of the house, and he checks it all the time. He needed that.

NOTE: I'm not some crazy mom who never cooks and lets her kids run around unschooled, but we needed to get a kick into the right gear, if you know what I mean.

My youngest has started a chore chart, and he's doing fantastic with his new responsibilities. I can tell that hubs likes the control I've taken here. I can tell he notices and appreciates it. That's what it's all about!

These tasks with the kids may not seem like ways of loving on my husband, but they are! By keeping a controlled and peaceful home, my husband can enjoy it more! Period.

And because, I've been talking much less through this love dare process(remember: he has no idea I'm reading the book), my husband didn't have to hear about the things that ran through my mind as I initiated them. I realized men don't even hear you! They respond to actions. They don't want to hear what we're going to do. That's like Spanish. They respond when it's done. That's their language. Had I sat down and talked to hubs about all of the above, it would have totally ruined it!

Note to self: think out loud less.

Some of things I've been making...

Citrus chicken salad and cheese crisps
(his new favorite salad)

Lasagna (the recipe is in my head-no need to link lasagna, right?)

Rosemary Pork Tenderloin with carrots and onions
(This made the whole house smell amazing!!)

Calypso Shrimp w/ Black Bean Salsa

Beef Stroganoff Casserole


***Read about why I'm taking The Love Dare HERE. Wanna join me? Come back and comment with a link to your post. I'd love to hear about your journey! To read any of the other Love Dare posts just click on the label "The Love Dare" at the bottom of this post.

Take the Dare!



At February 26, 2011 at 11:02 PM , Blogger Mariposa said...

It's amazing how simply making dinner means so much to a husband! It sounds like you are doing great on your Love Dare journey. :)

At February 28, 2011 at 11:16 AM , Blogger Shell said...

Sounds like it's going really well!

At February 28, 2011 at 11:59 PM , Blogger Katina said...

totally stealing the citrus chicken recipie! You go girl. I need to stop thinking all together--not just out loud! (LOL) keep up the good work!

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