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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

moving on is bittersweet

If you plan to judge-skip over my blog today. If you're an IRL creeper who knows me personally and doesn't admit they read, you're in for a treat of personal information. Enjoy. Not everyone agrees with my topic today. Oh well.

Six months ago my husband and I sat in our attorney's office as he told us it would be in our best interest financially to include our home in our bankruptcy. My heart sank. That was not an option!

We've been hit hard by this economy over the last few years. I lost my job as a title agent in 2007. It brought me home to my boys, but it's been hard. My husband works in construction, and that has been one crazy nightmare after the other. I don't have to go into all the details of this economy. Many of you face the same struggles.

Very long story short, we decided to seek counsel on filing for bankruptcy this past summer. We made the appointment with the intentions of wiping out debt we had no means to pay anymore, and starting over. We did not expect to get the advice we got. Which was to make the choice to include our home in the bankruptcy as well. There was no way I was going to consider it. This is our home.

My oldest was only four when we bought it. It's the only house he really remembers being in. We've spent almost ten years here. My husband proposed to me in this hallway. We brought our youngest home from the hospital and layed him in his bassinet in this livingroom. We've celebrated milestones, birthdays, nursed sick children, giggled with well ones, shared life here, shared every memory I can think of here. This is our home. How could I let it go? Just like that.

As the attorney started rambling on about the financial side of things. I just couldn't focus. All I could think about way! He continued to advise us that including the home is the smartest thing we could do financially. We owe 120K, it's not worth more than 40K. That's right. You heard me. $40,000.00!

It's old, small, and in need of repairs we do not have the money to fix. The septic is shot. There's all sorts of problems. If we included this home in the bankruptcy, we would be able to purchase another one down the road. One that's newer, bigger, and worth what we pay for it. Prices are so low, we may find something much better and still pay off before we would have paid this one off. Our current mortgage is a 30yr. term. We'd still be sitting in this shoebox, flushing our septic out for the four-hundreth time, by the time we could pay off a newer, nicer home.

Sure, we've outgrown this shoebox ten times! Sure, I would love to get out from under this mortgage. Sure, lots of things...

But, this is our home.

I get that it makes the best sense financially. I get that it's probably a very wise choice.

But, it's our home.

After months and months of prayer, thought, and torturous decision making, we've decided to let the house go. It was probably the hardest decison I've ever had to make. We've faced humiliating truths, and judgement from family members. We've gone through a roller coaster of emotions every day. We've broken the news to the kids. They took it really well! I know in my head that it's the best thing we can do for a our financial future. In my heart, I just don't even know.

We've been discharged. It's time to move on. For the first time in almost ten years we will rent. My kids are going to have to experience a move. I know they're going to be fine. I've had a lot of time to get used to the idea. There's a lot of pros. It could be fun. I know we'll have more space. I know we'll find the perfect house to make a temporary home out of. It's just going to be hard to leave.

A new chapter is beginning. Sometimes that's exciting. But today, it's bittersweet.


If you're not familiar with Shell's Pour Your Heart Out meme. Check it out!


At February 16, 2011 at 12:32 PM , Blogger Day 2 Day Living said...

My heart breaks for you! I can only imagine what you are going through. I hope it is as smooth of a transition as it possibly can be.
As for those judgmental family members....tell them to shove it!

At February 16, 2011 at 12:39 PM , Blogger Brittany said...

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you! The Lord works everything for good, and I'm sure this too will turn out even better than you can imagine. Prayers for you!

At February 16, 2011 at 1:15 PM , Blogger Shell said...

Oh, it has to be hard to let go of your home!

But, it also sounds like it's for the best.

These are hard times(if I hear our President say that the recession is over one more time, I may lose it) and you have to do what you can to take care of your family.

At February 16, 2011 at 1:20 PM , Blogger Diane said...

((Hugs)). Keep your chin up and keep praying. Things will get better. They will.

At February 16, 2011 at 3:27 PM , Blogger DaisyGal said...

oh my goodness...Oh wow. I know that thing in a lot of lives have been so crazy and chaotic, and I am sorry for that for you.

thinking good thoughts for you, that everything that is coming is GOOD.


At February 16, 2011 at 4:40 PM , Blogger Tylaine said...

You have made the right decision for you. It was obviously an extremely tough one and those who judge something like that seriously need to get off their self righteous high horse because noone can no unless they are in that exact situation. God Bless and keep you! *HUGS*

At February 16, 2011 at 5:25 PM , Blogger Sara said...

There is no judgement. You have to do what is best for your family. It must be hard though, and for that I'm sorry. At least your kids don't have to change schools...

All jokes aside, I really am sorry for your loss. This door may be closed, but you can be comforted in the fact that God will open many, many other doors for you, before you're finally in your REAL home....

At February 16, 2011 at 6:07 PM , Blogger Sarah said...

Wow...what a tough choice to make. Someone very close to me had to make some similar decisions and I know that it's not easy but it sounds like you did the right thing. I'm sorry though, wish I could make it better.

At February 16, 2011 at 6:15 PM , Blogger Reagan said...

I can't even fathom the position you are in! I trust that you are doing the best thing possible!

At February 16, 2011 at 7:42 PM , Blogger Steph said...

This post made me cry...

We've been there.

And for a year we have rented our temporary home that we've made a home. And I'm here to tell you from 1st hand experience, you will cry and you will grieve...but you will make new memories in your temporary home that are just as powerful.

We also brought our baby girl home to this temporary home last summer and even though I know I will grieve that memory when we move on in the future...we are together and happy. ♥

I'm truly, truly sorry.

At February 16, 2011 at 8:20 PM , Blogger Jessica.B said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. I live with my husband in Virginia & am originally from NC. That is where my mom still lives. Just recently she had to let my childhood home go back. Her & my dad purchased the house when I was only 1. I am 25 now, turn 26 in May. The house needed tons of work that she couldn't get done on her own and so to let the house go is the better decision. But still.. Bittersweet it is.

At February 16, 2011 at 8:34 PM , Blogger Mariposa said...

Wow, I'm so sorry... I hope the fact that God has a plan in this will give you some peace. I will say a prayer for you. God bless!

At February 16, 2011 at 8:40 PM , Blogger Ruby@Ruby'sMusings said...

Been through bankruptcy twice. Not because we wanted to. Not because we are bad people or handled things badly in the money area, but due to job losses and needing to raise three children and survive. We also went through short sale just this past year, it finally closed and was over. We had walked away from our dream home, where we had planned to live out our days. Had put our personal stamp on. It was not what we wanted to do once again, we fought it for a year, actually a bit longer, went through savings, investments and sold everything we could sell to get into an apartment before the short sale would tank our credit and we would not be able to. We started over. Broke, and receiving furniture gifts and help from our children..a decor made up of what looks like collage thrift store hodge podge with a dash of IKEA.We live pay check to pay check , still two years later barely able to put food on the table a lot of the time. I keep internet as it is the only way I have friends. I tell you this not to take away from what you are going through, but to say I understand. That I am here for you. And I will never be judging you EVER!

At February 16, 2011 at 9:30 PM , Blogger Adrienne said...

Times are hard no judgement from me ... i understand life hits hard soemtimes ...prayers your way my dear

At February 17, 2011 at 2:55 AM , Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

Oh, that is sad. Its hard to leave a home behind. People will say that home is where your family is... which is true. But still. I would be sad to leave my house - and I hate this shoe box!

At February 17, 2011 at 9:04 AM , Blogger Janet Rose said...

I am so sorry! Although it is a shoebox, it's your shoebox and leaving it behind will be difficult. I pray you have more (way more) encouragement coming your way than judgment.

At March 4, 2011 at 7:37 PM , Blogger Jessica said...

I've missed so much! Wow, what a heart breaking decision for you and hubby. (Now I can't say I've been in your shoes, we built and moved every 2 years since marrying 9 years ago so house attachment isn't something I go though.... but...) I can empathize. (Is that the right word??)

Has anyone told you yet?? When God closes one door He opens a window?

Shower of blessings Adrienne, that's what He has in store for you. If we could see the end from the beginning as God does then the paths that he leads us over and through would make more sense... but we can't so that's why we have to have faith.

Love you! Keep looking up! Do you have a date you have to move by? (You might have already share that but I'm hopping all around your posts tonight.)

At April 4, 2011 at 11:19 AM , Anonymous Trish said...

Sometimes the hardest decisions and changes in life turn out to be the best. I bet this will be the case for you! You will make a new home for your family.

At April 5, 2011 at 9:02 PM , Blogger Tiffany said...

Ok, I answered my own question that I asked on you PINT post today.
So you'll be leaving the shoebox. It's all good. What coast you moving to? I'm on the East coast in FL.


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