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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

There's strength in admitting weakness.

Recently I made a tough personal choice to battle anxiety and depression. I've struggled with anxiety since I was in high school. For years I've tried to battle it on my own to only fall prey to it over and over again.

Everything going on with my son has forced me to face some demons of my own. I felt like I needed to be fully armed to help him fight his battle, and if there was ANYTHING I could do to be stronger (mentally and physically), I needed to do it!

I recognized that my own anxiety was hindering me from living free of worry and doubt. It was stripping me of patience, peace, and comfort.

I've struggled spiritually in this area of stronghold in my life. As a christian woman, I felt guilty that my faith wasn't strong enough to battle anxiety with spiritual growth. Can you say Satan?!

Sometimes I feel like I'm under the microscope in my faith, and I was desperate for my husband to see a difference in  my life through faith in Jesus. I was afraid that worldly devices like medication would make him think I couldn't do it with God's help. Another lie from Satan!

As I type now, I see how much of hold Satan had on me with lies, deception, and pride.

Something that I'm learning is that there is more strength in admitting our weaknesses than fighting them with pride and fear. I began taking an anti-depressant about 6 weeks ago, and it's made a huge difference in my life. I'm shocked at the positive changes. I feel stronger, and I like that!

Making this choice didn't pull me away from my faith or prove God is not able! He gave me the peace to finally make this decision, and because it I am living more fully.

Don't be afraid of weakness. It can make you stronger!

I'm linked up at Pour Your Heart Out with Shell at Things I Can't Say!

19 Comments:

At August 3, 2011 at 10:12 AM , Blogger RebeccaMom said...

Well said! I have struggled with similar things and have learned much about God being strong in my weakness. Thanks for sharing your heart and your lesson with us :)

 
At August 3, 2011 at 11:19 AM , Blogger Shell said...

I'm so glad that you are feeling better.

The meds- this is how I look at it: If I broke my arm, I wouldn't just pray for God to heal it. I'd go to the doctor and get help. I believe it's the same with the emotional.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 11:40 AM , Blogger Karen Mortensen said...

Excellent post. Good for you.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 1:26 PM , Blogger Hutch said...

I'm glad you found the strength to take care of yourself and get the help needed! The form of healing is not what matters (at least in my opinion).

 
At August 3, 2011 at 1:56 PM , Blogger Kir said...

I always say that my zoloft is my best friend, that it saved me from being a really bad mom, wife and friend.

I am so glad you're feeling better and letting go of the guilt that you shouldn't feel at all.

I am sending good thoughts and love to you.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 2:36 PM , Blogger Emmy said...

Good for you. And yes, so many people feel like if they just have enough faith it will all be fine- but that is not true. The extra help and science has been developed for a reason and it is okay

 
At August 3, 2011 at 3:08 PM , Blogger Katertot said...

Our great brains are thinking alike today. :) My PHYO correlates with yours!

You were able to put into words what I've been trying to!

 
At August 3, 2011 at 3:33 PM , Blogger Sarah said...

I'm glad that you found something to help you. I think that God gives us tools to help ourselves and we choose not to use them for what ever reason, and we all do it. I think it comes back to having balance, with Him as the focus.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 3:47 PM , Blogger Tiffany said...

I know exactly how you feel. I had the same struggles with admitting I needed medication for anxiety/depression over a year ago. I'm so proud of you and happy for you. It is the best feeling when you realize that the medicine is so helpful.
Big hugs, my friend.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 3:51 PM , Blogger Peeper said...

Echo everything Shell just wrote. I'm so glad you are helping yourself and so glad that it feels so good and right to you.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 4:18 PM , Blogger Jenny said...

I think Shell put it perfectly! Emotionally hurt is just as bad as being physically hurt. You are not alone, I have horrible anxiety and have seeked treatment for it. Glad you have done something as well.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 4:23 PM , Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

I truly believe God gave my mom the meds she needs to make it through everyday.

Admitting she needed them took strength from God too.

 
At August 3, 2011 at 10:33 PM , Blogger becca said...

hugs and good for you for getting the help you needed and for taking care of your self

 
At August 4, 2011 at 7:14 AM , Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Good for you for finding power in admitting you need help. I'm glad you are seeing the positives in that!

 
At August 4, 2011 at 9:44 PM , Blogger The Woven Moments said...

God helps those who help themselves, right? Good for you for getting medication.

Anxiety and depression are chemical imbalances. No shame in the condition or it's treatment!

 
At August 5, 2011 at 1:33 PM , Blogger Mama Hen said...

This is an excellent post because we all have weakness and areas we need to work on. It is recognizing this and then doing something about it that is important. You should be proud of yourself for moving forward and wanting to work through something that has held on to you for so long. I wish you all the best my friend! Have a good day!

Mama Hen

 
At August 7, 2011 at 11:25 PM , Blogger Helene said...

I can relate so well to this. It took a long time for me to admit that I needed medication to help treat my PPD. I tried so hard to do it on my own and then came a day where something clicked and I knew I had to try something else. I honestly think the meds saved my life.

I totally agree with you about there being more strength in admitting our weaknesses. It takes a strong person to ask for help, rather than suffer in silence.

 
At August 9, 2011 at 8:04 PM , Anonymous viviene said...

I just prayed for you... God be with you in this ordeal. =)

From a sister in Christ =)

 
At August 10, 2011 at 1:45 AM , Blogger Ca C'est Bon Boudin said...

What an absolutely beautiful thing to say? OMG! I do not even know how I got to your blog. I never read blogs. Reading it has truly empowered me and I thank you. May God continue to bless you! Love, Jordan; your sister in Christ

 

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