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When do we share too much?

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Monday, August 1, 2011

When do we share too much?

Do ever wonder if you're sharing too much about yourself, your family, or your children online?

Part of the reason I love the blogsphere is that you are sure to find an honest look at motherhood, families, and life. In fact, honest blogging pulls me in. It's what makes me want to revisit or follow a blogger. When someone goes out on a limb to share something personal and from the heart I can relate and feel connected.

But, how do you balance the two? How do you share so much that you're honest, real, and personal, but not too much that you're invading the privacy of yourself, your family or your children?

I'm not an anonymous blogger. When I first started blogging I grabbed the first cartoon girl I could find on istock and ran with it. It didn't really reflect me, and it bugged me so I "came" out. I was never truly anonymous, but I never advertised my blog to people I know IRL or on my personal FB page, and still don't. We all know that non-bloggers don't get blogging, so it's not really a topic I'm jumping at the chance to talk about. But, I'm by no means anon and it wouldn't be hard to link me to my blog if one wished to do so.

Sometimes I wonder if the things I share are an invasion of privacy to my family. I think about my son. He's 12. He's not a toddler. He has an opinion all his own. He's very shy. Truth be told, if I asked him if he minded me sharing some of the stories I share about him, perhaps he would say he would prefer I didn't do it? Food for thought, no?

Maybe some of the personal stories I've been sharing about my past will catch up to me some way, and I'll wish I hadn't have posted some things here or there.

Honestly, I haven't posted anything to date that I regret. But, I also don't want to. I do think it's important to really think about what we put out there. It's a topic that been on my heart, and I cannot ignore that. I will always be an honest blogger because I think that's the point! But, I want to be wise all the same.

When we put something on the Internet, it's there forever. What if we regret some shared topics in the future? What if we look back at blogging like a bad trend we cannot believe we participated in like pegged pants legs, parachute pants, or the wave bang?

Can't you just see it? We could all be targets on VH1's I Love 2011 in ten years. The washed up celebrities of today could be making fun of mommy bloggers of our day. They would be cussing (and they'd actually be saying the real cuss words because it's ten years in the future) and saying how crazy it was that we all made permanent records of our child's behavior and in turn our adult children are getting fired from high paying jobs, or not accepted to colleges...
Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic. But it's a thought. I know that colleges look at facebook pages of applicants these days. Is it such a stretch to think they might check out the parent's blog?

What's your take? How do you balance honest blogging and your family's privacy?
How do you think we'll feel about this whole thing in ten years?


At August 1, 2011 at 8:22 AM , Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

I pass things I am not sure about by my husband. He has vetoed several ideas.

At August 1, 2011 at 9:55 AM , Blogger The Woven Moments said...

If I'm writing about me then the gloves are off.

But when I'm writing about someone else, I let them know ahead of time and give them veto power.

When writing about my kids, I try to imagine that their 15-year-old selves (in the future) are standing next to me, reading over their shoulder.

Hence the no naked pictures rule. Or the "photoshop clothes onto their naked bodies" rule.

At August 1, 2011 at 3:06 PM , Blogger Jenny said...

Yeah..I don't share a lot about my blog to my family and friends. Some of them know about it but I don't think they check it as often as they did. Having fb I am able to post more pics of Will for my family to see that I might not share on my blog. Now, when Will is getting more into school, not sure how much I will share.

At August 1, 2011 at 4:08 PM , Blogger Peeper said...

What's your take?

Like you, honesty and raw emotion draw me in. I admire anyone who is self aware enough and brave enough to embrace that kind of exposure. I don't know that I can always go there safely so I look to others to show me the way.

How do you balance honest blogging and your family's privacy?

There are so many things I can't share, won't share! Our parents read that blog.
Especially, I hardly ever write about my job and I don't do it with much detail. I wish I could - just how challenging the profession is and how hard my job is in particular. But I don't have kind things to say about my current position and if they read what I really thought? Hell to pay.

How do you think we'll feel about this whole thing in ten years?

My plan is for my daughter to one day read my blog. I imagine her in her room some day when she is a teenager - mad at me and convinced that I don't understand her or that my love for her is conditional - and she can see those books of my printed blog and know how much she was wanted and loved from before the very start. I hope it will guide her. My mom isn't around anymore and I wish so much that I had something from her that explained the phases we went through. This serves that purpose to my daughter. I never write negative things or mean things for that reason. Life is hard enough. I want our recorded history to be beautiful.

At August 1, 2011 at 7:53 PM , Blogger becca said...

honestly i don't erite anything i'mnot comfortable sharing with a stranger at the grocery store. that being said mosyt of my post are my opinions onproducts,movies and life as well as my poetry so yeah. if i write it then i tell the truth but it is never anything i wouldn't share when talking to someone face to face.

At August 1, 2011 at 8:47 PM , Blogger Lisa said...

I am very honest. But like you, none of my IRL friends or family (including my husband) know about my blog. I feel like I couldn't be totally honest or express myself if people I see knew.

At August 2, 2011 at 6:56 PM , Blogger Shell said...

I do think about this. B/c I put a lot out there. Not all... no, not even me. But, a lot.

I don't think that I regret any of it.

But, I don't know how much children will take it years down the road. If they will be sensitive about it or not.

At August 17, 2011 at 11:41 PM , Anonymous Donetta said...

I started blogging with a completely different blog from the one I have now. When I started that one my immediately family were the only people that I knew in real life that I told about it. I didn't want anyone I knew to read it because I wanted to be able to write freely and share my honest opinions without worrying about what someone would think. I wrote on that one for several years but then life kind of got busy and I neglected it for awhile.

When I decided to jump back in, I decided to start a new one, use my real name (I had never published my real name before), post pictures this time, and share stories about my family. I decided I was tired of trying to remain completely anonymous and I was just going to throw it all out there and be who I am. I don't share EVERYTHING on the blog - in fact, I haven't gotten very personal at all comparatively - but I have tried to share more than I used to and not worry about what others think. :)

As far as my kids go, they are older so if I'm going to share something that's directly about them I ask them if it's okay. If I'm just sharing my thoughts or feelings about them then I don't ask them first. ;)


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