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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex...

Guys, I know there's a few of you brave fellows out there. Feel free to stick around! Don't be scared. I'd love to hear your take too, but if you're uncomfortable with the estrogen levels today, come back tomorrow.

Ladies. I wanna know. Are you making time for this? Do you have time to make?

I love my man! I'm actually helplessly in love him, attracted to his every move, and want to be with him, yet still can't find the time to make this work lately.

I'm completely overwhelmed all of a sudden with the demands of homeschool, therapy appointments, outside activities, groups, field trips, etc.

Anxiety is rearing it's ugly head big time right now, and I'm just not myself. My head's all cloudy, and I'm off.

But, I know my husband is in fact a man. He doesn't need his head to be clear of all the nonsense to snap to it. That's just the way they are. 

After nearly 14 years together he just knows I'm not myself. He doesn't even really make a move if his mama-is-a-mess radar is going off. He gives me time and space. Thats' sweet. But, I still want to be there for him. It's not that I'm not in the mood. I'm just not in the mood after story time!

Even though he's giving me space, I know deep down he needs me. 
Hello? He is a man!

It's important to me to make time for him.

I never say no. I just don't. I don't want to. 

Sometimes he just needs me.

I will never turn him down.

I feel like that's one of my loving roles of being his wife, even if I'm not in the mood.
Call me old school, but he sure doesn't complain.

I don't feel like it's a job. I want to please him. It's an act of love.
Usually if I'm not in the mood he goes the extra mile. It's a partnership.

So it's important to me to be there for him, yet I can't find the time or energy to put the moves on my man...

Is anybody with me?

Chime in!


At September 20, 2011 at 9:47 AM , Blogger Lisa said...

I am totally with you. When I finally get to sit down and relax at 9 p.m., the last thing on my mind is putting the moves on my husband. It's unfortunate.

At September 20, 2011 at 10:23 AM , Blogger Di said...

We are still finding our groove after baby. Its been a huge adjustment for both of us and it definitely is an effort on both sides!

At September 20, 2011 at 11:02 AM , Blogger Jenny said...

Definitely agree...I feel bad when he wants to and I am just not in the mood for it. But I definitely aim to always please, its my personality. Being pregnant doesn't help either.
Having a date night at home or if you can get out, helps!

At September 20, 2011 at 11:14 AM , Blogger Barbara said...

We have tried really hard to make it a point to stay connected in our marriage. We really make an effort to be with each other at least once a week, maybe not after story time every time but making a commitment to be with each other is key for us.

At September 20, 2011 at 12:15 PM , Blogger becca said...

this one is beyond me because of my health there have been months at a time that things just don't happen and most days it depends on whether or not i'm feeling good or not. it's said to say but life had a whole different game for me to play and i'm lucky the hubby is willing to play with me even though he does without most of the time

At September 20, 2011 at 1:24 PM , Blogger Shell said...

Totally with you. I don't say no, either!

At September 20, 2011 at 3:10 PM , Anonymous Eden said...

Great post. Thx for the honesty!

At September 22, 2011 at 4:01 PM , Blogger Jessica said...

(It's okay to be overly personal on your blog... things I wouldn't say on mine to follow.) ;-)

Life does find a way to make us too busy for the important stuff. A few years ago I realized that when I decided "yes" even when I was exhausted I was always glad I did. I never say "no" anymore. In fact I do my best to make sure he doesn't have to ask with words. I recognize his desire and happily respond. Who wants to make their husbands feel guilty about their natural, God given needs? (Even if I don't "feel" like it at first, that changes pretty quickly.)

For tired moms: Something I found works for us (especially for me) is morning... before the kids are awake and the crazy of the day begins.

At September 28, 2011 at 9:08 PM , Anonymous Albert said...

OK ladies, I'm responding from my blackberry so if my punctuation and spelling is off-forgive me.

I was searching the internet for something else when I came across this blog.

From the sound of it, you ladies are wonderful wives and for some of you; loving mothers. Being a father of 4 children and the husband of a former stay at home mom, I understand your delima.

However, we men-not saying yours don't- need to be more active in the home and the activities therein. Regardless if your're a stay at home mom or someone who works outside of the home-if we want you to always say yes to making love, we should do all we can to insure that your in the right mind-set. You should be thinking about the act of making love opposed to all the things you have to do when you guys are done.

If he knows how to cook then he should cook something, can he wash clothes then he should drop a load of clothes in the wash, etcetera.

I commend all of you for never saying no; however, we (men) should be more in tuned to you and understand that when two people make love - it's not a sole propriorship; it's a partnership.

One of the bloggers here stated that she did not want to deny him his God given needs. Well... God made women too and the desires that men have are no more unique than yours.

Never saying no can be a recipe for bad sex. Here's why.

We men have a Individualist culture mentality that suggest we are more about "I" and "I got mine, you get yours." While women have a Collectivist Culture mentality that suggest that women have a cooperative mind-set. Always making your needs and desires secondary to a ours. "As long as they're satisfied," most women say and as most of you have stated here; you never say no.

Thanks for allowing me to share.


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