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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

When I have to fight for him

Many of you know my oldest son struggles with OCD. Last summer was THE toughest and most unexpected battles God has ever brought me through. Since then my son has made tremendous progress! He's doing so many of the things he wasn't able to do. The list of things he's been able to overcome is a mile long. Medication and therapy have helped him so much!

But there are still battles everyday. It's been about 5 months since we began treatment for him, and I'm so happy that I have my son back. He's nowhere near that frightening place he was in back in June. Praise God!

He still listens to OCD everyday. He lets it tell him what to do and when to do it, and I have to step in. Although he's made so much progress, I can see he's reached a plateau. He's managed to improve enough to get through life and "appear" as if all is good, but I see how much he's still controlled by it.

We still have to keep fighting. It's a never ending battle to beat OCD, and sometimes I have to fight for him.

It's my least favorite job right now as a mom. I have to be tough. I have to do things that, at the time, he thinks are mean or hurt him. I have to force him to work through everyday tasks. I can't allow him to plan his day around fear. I have to teach him to live fully!

Sometimes when he doesn't want to cooperate and fear takes over it's scary, and I feel awful in the moment. His meltdowns are at a 12 on a scale of 1-10. But, it's in those hard moments I realize how much work he still has to do, and how much fight he still has to give. I realize how hard a simple task is for him to overcome, and that's when I will fight for him.

Once he's calmed and rational again he knows I'm helping him. It's just hard for him, for me, and for the whole family sometimes.

The only way to beat this thing is to show OCD you can do it! To ignore the lie and fight through whatever it's telling you can't do.

Although it's tough, I'm thankful that he's young, and at home! We can teach him now. God-willing he will learn, grow, heal, and live the fullest life he could ever imagine!

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power!"~2 Timothy 1:16

For more information on exposure therapy you can take a peek at A&E's documentary series, Obsessed. Watching some of these episodes has actually helped my son see how bad it can get, how he actually has quite a bit in common with a few of the cases, and how he needs to fight!


12 Comments:

At October 19, 2011 at 9:51 AM , Blogger Lisa said...

Adrienne, you are such a strong and amazing mother. I admire your strength every time I read about your son's OCD. He is so lucky to have you as his mama.

 
At October 19, 2011 at 10:10 AM , Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

Can I ask how old your son is and when he started showing signs of OCD? My daughter is 22 months and some of her little "routines" have me wondering if it's just typical toddler or something more. She doesn't melt down when she gets out of a routine, but she is very set in them. She also has a habit of scratching at her back, sometimes until she breaks the skin - it seems to be just a nervous habit. And I wonder, is it just a phase or something more?

My husband and I both have a touch of OCD, although it doesn't affect either one of us in our day-to-day living. I'm planning to ask my pedi about my daughter's behavior at her 2-year well-check in December. In the meantime, I'm curious to know your son's circumstances. Feel free to e-mail me. And God bless you - you seem like a wonderful mother and advocate for your child. :)

 
At October 19, 2011 at 10:24 AM , Blogger Barbara said...

You are an amazing mother and your son is lucky to have you in his corner fighting right along with him!

 
At October 19, 2011 at 11:01 AM , Blogger Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year said...

Good for you! Recognizing and celebrating the achievements while knowing that he still may have some work to do. So often we get caught up in the work left to do that we forget about the work we just accomplished. He's lucky to have you.

 
At October 19, 2011 at 12:49 PM , Blogger Maggie S. said...

I can't wait to look into that series.

Thanks for pouring your heart out.

 
At October 19, 2011 at 1:02 PM , Blogger Shell said...

Sending you and him continued prayers as you work through this!

 
At October 19, 2011 at 1:27 PM , Anonymous greta @gfunkified said...

Wow, that is amazing. You are amazing. It's so awesome that he's gone through the therapy and are working on it, and seeing progress. With a family like he has, he's going to grow into a strong, highly functional, productive member of society. Kudos to you and him!

 
At October 19, 2011 at 1:29 PM , Blogger Katina said...

Girlfriend, you are ahmazing! I have watched you (online) struggle with this and I applaud all that you are doing! you are a great mommy!

 
At October 20, 2011 at 12:58 PM , Blogger DysFUNctional Mom said...

OCD runs in my family. I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch your child struggle with that! I'm glad to hear that he's doing better, and he is lucky to have a Mama like you fighting for him!

 
At October 20, 2011 at 1:53 PM , Blogger Anastasia said...

It's so hard when all you want to do is cuddle him and protect him! But you are a good mommy who knows she has to do the hard stuff too. And one day he will thank you.

 
At October 21, 2011 at 12:43 PM , Blogger Jenny said...

You sound like you are a wonderful mom who always supports him no matter what...because OCD is such a difficult disease. I myself have had a very very mild case if it my whole life. The way the mind plays tricks on you can take over your whole life.
Glad that he is making strides in the right direction thanks to treatment and a supportive family!

 
At October 21, 2011 at 4:00 PM , Blogger becca said...

you are such a strong and amazing mother. I admire your strength every time I read about your son's OCD. He is so lucky to have you as his mama.

 

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