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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Alone

When she walked in he was sitting in the recliner with the remote in one hand and a beer in the other.
Lovely


He didn't get up. He just looked at her as if he was expecting her. Strange.
She thought for a moment of all the times she had come back. Of course he was expecting her.

She told herself to just get it over with.

As soon as the words fell out of her mouth he started with his whining rant.


"You're not having this baby!"


"I'm not going to be a father." 


"How do I even know it's mine?"


"I'm not doing this." 


"You're too young, how are going to take care of a baby?!"


"Don't screw your life up. Get rid of it."


It was over. He knew.

She left. This time she left knowing she wasn't coming back.

She didn't listen to anything he said. She told him that the only option she would consider was having this baby, and allowing him to be a part of it. If he didn't want the responsibility she was fine with that. Either way-she was having the baby!

She knew in heart she would have the support of family and friends. It wouldn't be easy, but she was going to figure it out. Even if she had to figure it out alone.

Perhaps this baby wouldn't forever connect them?

Perhaps this baby would be the one thing that could finally keep her from him?

As she drove home, she stopped crying.

She felt stronger.
*****

She couldn't ignore his phone calls anymore.

Silent tears fell from her eyes as she confirmed what he had already heard through the grapevine. She tried to catch her breathe in between the answers to each of his questions. It would be a miracle if she could get through this call without breaking down.

He was concerned. Loving and kind, as always.

Her heart crushed to a million pieces as the sound of hope in his voice faded with every answer she gave him.

I don't think so. 


Yes, I'm sure. 


You don't need to do anything. 


Reallly, I'm fine. We'll be fine. 


I can't see you anymore. I'm sorry. 


She hung up the phone and wondered if she really would stop seeing him.

*****

Linking up with Shell at Things I can't Say. Because these are the things I can't say.
If you want to read previous posts in order start below.
1. Exhale
2. Rehab
3. Lost
4. Afraid
5. Breathe




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9 Comments:

At November 9, 2011 at 11:57 AM , Blogger Lisa said...

I hope she doesn't stop seeing him!!!!!!!!!

 
At November 9, 2011 at 12:08 PM , Blogger Shell said...

How hard that must have been- and how strong you were.

You have me curious about the other guy, though!

 
At November 9, 2011 at 8:24 PM , Blogger MiMi said...

I'm with Shell. Curious about the other guy! Grrr! How wrong is it that your life is SO interesting to me that I want to read it up like a book?

 
At November 10, 2011 at 8:30 AM , Blogger Barbara said...

I agree with Mimi I want to read this like a book! I can't even imagine what you went through.

 
At November 10, 2011 at 12:52 PM , Anonymous Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) said...

Wow...that takes a lot of strength!

 
At November 10, 2011 at 12:59 PM , Blogger Christine Siracusa said...

Wowowow. I remember rehab. going back to read the rest.

I bet it feels good to share this. That's a lot to walk around with inside.

 
At November 11, 2011 at 9:03 AM , Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I admire your strength.

 
At November 11, 2011 at 4:56 PM , Blogger becca said...

hugs

 
At November 11, 2011 at 5:47 PM , Blogger Karen Mortensen said...

Wow. What a woman you are.

 

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