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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Dear son,

Dear son, 

I can't keep up with you. You're growing too fast. Last summer it seemed as if you would need me forever. You were helpless and afraid. You were lost and confused. But, in just a matter of months you're turning into a young man. 

A young man with a great sense of humor that I love, looks to kill, and a heart any girl would be lucky to have. But, she can't have it. Ok?

I see how much you're growing and changing. I see that you have confidence now. I've been waiting for that, and now that it's here. I'm torn. 

Don't let this world swallow you up. Don't be fooled. Stay wise and close to the Lord. 

I have a feeling that there are many milestones around the corner for you. Things that I'm terrified about, and things I'm excited about. But, I have to let you grow up. That's not easy. 

I hope you know that I trust you. I love you, and I'm always here for you. No matter what! Nothing you could ever do or say or think would change my love for you. I will always be here. No matter how many times you mess up or make a stupid decision, I will always love you. 

As you grow even more I recognize so much of your real father in your face.'s a daily reminder of something that is right around the corner. 

Your dad and I have always told you that when you're ready, we are ready. I cringe at the thought. But, it's the right thing for you. Honesty has always been our number one priority with this, and I never want you to feel like you can't come to me and ask about him. Because you can. I will tell you anything you want to know. 

If you want to meet him, I will arrange it. I can't promise that you will be impressed, or that fireworks will spark. In fact, I can promise you that it will be less than monumental. But, I will arrange it.

I'm sorry that choices I made will forever be a part of your life. But, without those choices I wouldn't have you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Making some of those choices were hard, and I probably screwed up a bunch, and I'm sorry about that. But, I'm not sorry for you! I wouldn't change anything about our life or anything about you! Not. one.thing. 

I pray that you will embrace every part of who are and love it! You are special. God has an amazing plan for your life. I knew it the minute I looked at you on your first day. You have already changed the world just by being in it. Now show it what you've got!

I'm not ready for this stage yet. 

Please, slow down. 

I love you more than life,

Things I Can't Say

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At January 18, 2012 at 8:36 AM , Blogger Karen Greenberg said...

What a touching post. I do hope you share this letter with your son.

At January 18, 2012 at 8:37 AM , Blogger ckbrylliant said...

Beautiful. I could have written the first part about my son (almost 4)! How quickly they change and therefore we must continue to change and grow as well. Bless you in your challenges with his parenting situation.

'Honesty is the best policy and spincach is the best vegetable' Popeye

At January 18, 2012 at 9:49 AM , Blogger Shell said...

Oh, this is so sweet.

I pray that if/when he wants to meet his bio dad, that it will go well.

At January 18, 2012 at 10:54 AM , Anonymous Maureen | Tatter Scoops said...

Such a beautiful heartfelt post. I can feel the love for your son through each words you wrote here. I'm sure he will treasure this letter when he read it.

At January 18, 2012 at 10:56 AM , Blogger Janet Rose said...

Your son is blessed to have you!

At January 18, 2012 at 12:30 PM , Anonymous Dr. Ann said...

Thanks for sharing this letter to your son. I'm sure he knows how much you love him, and that has already made all the difference in his life!

At January 18, 2012 at 1:07 PM , Blogger MiMi said...

Such a poignant letter to your boy. I could write the same one.

At January 18, 2012 at 1:37 PM , Blogger The Mommy Therapy said...

What a beautiful letter to your son! I hope he can one day read it. I'm sure that your love for him will overcome any tough parts of whatever lays ahead.

Thanks for sharing!

At January 18, 2012 at 9:23 PM , Blogger Hines-Sight said...

What a beautiful post!

It touched me. Thanks for your note today on my blog.

At January 18, 2012 at 9:45 PM , Blogger Not a Perfect Mom said...

how beautiful! I hope one day your son can read it...
and they do grow too quickly, don't they? that's why I had 4 in 7 years...

At January 19, 2012 at 12:24 AM , Blogger The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

Aww, what a beautiful letter to your son. I'm not ready for my daughter to turn 10 in March. Double digits already?! How did we get there so fast?! Enjoy the details in your growing son!

At January 19, 2012 at 8:42 AM , Blogger Barbara said...

What a beautiful letter to your son. Such a heartwarming post!

At January 19, 2012 at 9:58 AM , Anonymous Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) said...

What a lovely letter! *hugs*

At January 20, 2012 at 6:04 AM , Blogger Maggie S. said...

My girls are at this stage with their birth mom. They are curious and for awhile, tried to hide it. They sure found a little peace when I told them it was okay.

I try to bring it up now and then. Much as I am not loving it. But they need to know.

At January 20, 2012 at 6:55 AM , Blogger ☆☆Mumsy said...

Beautiful and heart-felt letter to your son!

I hope that when he finally meet his real father, it will be a beautiful moment for him.

At January 20, 2012 at 11:45 AM , Blogger Lisa said...

So hard. Great letter Adrienne. Stay strong honey.

At January 22, 2012 at 4:42 PM , Blogger Missy said...

That's a powerful letter. Thanks for opening your heart with it.

At January 23, 2012 at 11:03 PM , Blogger Renegades said...

This was so well written. Maybe he won't even want to know his biological father. I know in my own experience my step father is who I consider my Dad and he's the only papa my kids know.


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